The Relationship Specialist | Mark Webb » Relationships http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com Turning Couples Relationships Into Over Night Success Stories Thu, 02 Sep 2010 13:17:21 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Fight The Good Fight http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/05/fight-the-good-fight/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/05/fight-the-good-fight/#comments Thu, 27 May 2010 17:55:12 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=365 Fight The Good FightThe world has a lot of negative people in it. Are you one of them? Do you expect the worst from situations? Do you criticize more often than praise? It does not have to be this way. A positive attitude can be as simple as changing the way you look at things.

The solution is simple but changing old belief patterns is not always easy to do. Most of us have been stuck in old belief patterns for quite some time. The problem with negative patterns is that they do not get us what we want out of life.

For example, we often believe the events of our past can pretty much predict our futures. With this being the case, we spend a lot of time worrying about our past and our future. By doing this we miss the opportunity to enjoy today.

So how do we learn to live in the here and now? What we often forget, is that we have a choice. We can choose to experience happiness instead of getting caught up in the chaos of negative thinking. Making the goal of peace of mind and happiness your single most important goal. When you catch yourself falling back into old negative ways, switch your focus back to your goal.

Other factors are also involved. For instance, we spent a lot of time trying to control others; their thoughts, their feelings, and their actions. We can only change how we see the world, other people and ourselves. Once again it boils down to what we choose to do.

We can also learn to see the goodness in ourselves, our relationships and in our work place. Happiness will come easier this way as opposed to finding fault in our world.

A part of having a positive lifestyle is sharing it with others. So you remember how good it feels to do something for someone else without being asked to do it. This is what is called an unconditional gift of love. Look for opportunities to do good deeds for others or give them praise for their abilities. Goodwill can be contagious.

Another factor needed for true happiness is forgiveness. Forgiveness is more than just telling someone, “I forgive you”, it comes from sincere intentions. This will free us from our negative feelings such as guilt, sadness, fear, anger and resentment.

Knowing these principles is one thing, living them is another. It takes time to change old ways of thinking but it is worth the time and effort. If we are willing to work at being consistent in what we think say and do, true happiness will be ours.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/05/fight-the-good-fight/feed/ 0 Creating Balance With Your Anger http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/05/creating-balance-with-your-anger/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/05/creating-balance-with-your-anger/#comments Fri, 21 May 2010 18:05:23 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=346 Balance With Your AngerAngry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life.  Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems.  Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives.  We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage.

Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with.  Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger.  We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways.  We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

We often grow up believing various misconceptions about anger, such as:

v     Nice people do not get angry.

v     We might lose control or go crazy if we share our anger.

v     If someone gets angry with us, we must have done something wrong.

v     People will not love us anymore if we get angry.

v     It’s okay to get angry if we can justify our feelings.

These misconceptions do not work for us in our day-to-day relationships.

So, what do we do with our built up anger?  Well, we tend to do one of two things with it.  Either we hold on to it or we act it out in inappropriate ways.  By holding on to our anger, we eventually struggle with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and /or physical kinds of problems such as headaches or ulcers.  If we explode with our anger, we may say or do things we eventually come to regret.  Neither of these approaches will work for us.

First, we need to be aware of a few ideas about anger.  We have a right to feel angry.  Other people also have a right to feel angry.  But we need to deal with our anger in appropriate ways.  Dealing with our stored anger may take time and effort.  Learning to appropriately express our anger takes patience.

Here are some ideas on how to deal with anger:

  1. Allow yourself and others to feel angry.
  2. Acknowledge your thoughts associated with your anger.
  3. Look for patterns in which anger usually occurs.
  4. Identify areas where you need change.
  5. Practice talking openly and honestly about anger without acting on it.
  6. Take responsibility for your anger. Other people are not in charge of your feelings.
  7. Use physical outlets such as playing ball or yard work to release some emotional energy.
  8. Write a letter to the person with whom you are angry, but do not mail it.  This helps to deal with anger without anyone ever knowing.

As we begin to deal appropriately with our anger, we need to be easy with ourselves.  This is especially true if we have been holding onto our anger for a long time.  Do not overly focus on anger or look for reasons to become angry.  Remember to be patient and to allow some mistakes, because this is how we learn.

Our anger is okay to express when we need to.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/05/creating-balance-with-your-anger/feed/ 2 Fireworks All Year Long! http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/05/fireworks-all-year-long/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/05/fireworks-all-year-long/#comments Tue, 18 May 2010 19:35:43 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=290 relationship fireworksHas your relationship fallen into a routine in which the passion has fizzled or perhaps even been extinguished?  How would you like to rekindle the spark that used to burn so passionately?  You may have a solid marriage that has weathered the storms of life, but this can still lead to complacency.  With some effort, you can ignite passion in your relationship all year long.

So many couples wait for factors to line up perfectly as in a solar eclipse before they experience the renewal of passion between them.  You can make passion as predictable as a sunrise but you’ve got to get out of your comfort zone.  You have to stretch your thinking into new areas you didn’t even know existed before.  Are you willing to change how you do things?

  1. Two critical things will determine the future of your relationship.  If you’re not careful these two things will negatively influence the quality of your relationship.
  2. The Information You Take In.  Positive information will attract positive circumstances.  Fill your mind up with stories of happy loving couples who enjoy being together instead of stories of hateful divorces.  Study books and attend seminars that focus on the enrichment of relationships. Everyone can learn more when it comes to relationships.  Commit yourself to learn all you can, so that you can become a great partner.
  3. The People You Associate With.  Individuals or couples can either drag you down or inspire you to new heights.  Create distance between you and the negative ones.  If you can’t create distance because they are family or coworkers, at least limit the length of your interactions. I used to say to tell my clients:  “Don’t associate with any negative people!  Period!”  I have done a lot of research on this subject and I have found out you can actually associate with about four or five negative people.  For some of us, that’s just enough room to fit our families in.

Renew your resolve to make your relationship passionate.  Make a conscious decision and then take
Meaningful steps towards this goal.  Remind yourself of this goal each and every day.

  1. Here are some strategies to help propel your passion for each other to new heights. Arrange for a babysitter.  Most men consider this to be the woman’s responsibilty but all women love it when the man takes the initiative.  This strategy alone will blow her doors off.  Ask family or friends to watch your children and then return the favor.
  2. Run away from home.  Daily routines can douse the flames of passion.  Get away for a night or two.  Develop a friendship with a travel agent and ask them to remind you from time to time of your resolve to make your relationship a passionate one.

If money is an issue then you might want to consider friends or family members who have a vacation home or perhaps you could trade homes with someone for a weekend.

  1. Tell your partner why you love him or her, not just that you do.  This could be by writing a love letter or by whispering in their ear while sitting in the movie theatre.  ( By the way guys, women crave love letters from the man she loves.)
  2. Plan time to be together.  Don’t just wait for it to happen.  Passion is increased by anticipation.
  3. Schedule  a date and let the two of you revel in the possibilities.  This builds up the excitement.
  4. Dress up for each other.  This used to be a top priority but once we seal the deal, we tend to neglect the extra shower and the splash of cologne/ perfume.  Make the effort to present your best self.  I also encourage you to workout in order to stay in shape.  Do your best to maintain your health and your youth.

Is your relationship growing in passion?  Don’t lose the fun and excitement that should and could be yours. Start today with a conscious effort to set your passion on fire.

Warmest Regards,
Mark Webb

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/05/fireworks-all-year-long/feed/ 0 10 Do’s and Don’ts of a Wonderful Marriage http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/05/10-do%e2%80%99s-and-don%e2%80%99ts-of-a-wonderful-marriage/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/05/10-do%e2%80%99s-and-don%e2%80%99ts-of-a-wonderful-marriage/#comments Tue, 18 May 2010 18:28:25 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=281 Dos and Donts of MarriageWith the divorce rate as high as it is, you must do everything possible to strengthen and protect your marriage.  You can’t always have your way or give in to your feelings.  You have to discipline yourself to do the right thing.  You must do what is in the best interest of your marriage.  Here are some fundamental guidelines that can make a huge difference.

  1. Be quick to listen and slow to speak.
  2. Don’t always try to be right.  You cannot be right and be married.
  3. Never threaten to leave or divorce.
  4. Be quick to say, “I’m sorry”.
  5. Don’t expect your spouse to believe all the same principles you do.  Respect their differences and them.  Love them unconditionally.
  6. Build your spouse up.  Freely give encouragement and praise.  Remember… it is better to give than to receive.
  7. Always side with your spouse in disputes outside of the marriage, even when they are wrong.  Respect the bond of your marriage.
  8. Learn to appreciate the things your spouse does and verbalize these often.
  9. Try to never go to bed angry with your spouse.
  10. Start and end each day by telling your spouse that you love them.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/05/10-do%e2%80%99s-and-don%e2%80%99ts-of-a-wonderful-marriage/feed/ 0 Unshakeable Peace Of Mind – 8 of 8 series – Final http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-8-of-8-series-final/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-8-of-8-series-final/#comments Tue, 23 Mar 2010 01:56:35 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=251 Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-8-of-8-series-final/feed/ 0 Unshakeable Peace Of Mind – 7 of 8 series http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-7-of-8-series/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-7-of-8-series/#comments Tue, 23 Mar 2010 01:55:13 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=249 Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-7-of-8-series/feed/ 0 Unshakeable Peace Of Mind – 6 of 8 series http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-6-of-8-series/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-6-of-8-series/#comments Tue, 23 Mar 2010 01:53:35 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=247 Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-6-of-8-series/feed/ 0 Unshakeable Peace Of Mind – 5 of 8 series http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-5-of-8-series/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-5-of-8-series/#comments Tue, 23 Mar 2010 01:52:19 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=244 Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-5-of-8-series/feed/ 0 Unshakeable Peace Of Mind – 4 of 8 series http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-4-of-8-series/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-4-of-8-series/#comments Tue, 23 Mar 2010 01:51:18 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=242 Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-4-of-8-series/feed/ 1 Unshakeable Peace Of Mind – 3 of 8 series http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-3-of-8-series/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-3-of-8-series/#comments Tue, 23 Mar 2010 01:49:53 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=239 Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at <a href=”http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com” target=”_blank”>http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com</a>

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-3-of-8-series/feed/ 0 Unshakeable Peace Of Mind – 2 of 8 series http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-2-of-8-series/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-2-of-8-series/#comments Wed, 03 Mar 2010 19:55:01 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=235 Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-2-of-8-series/feed/ 0 Unshakeable Peace Of Mind – 1 of 8 series http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-1-of-8-series/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-1-of-8-series/#comments Wed, 03 Mar 2010 16:17:50 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=231 Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/03/unshakeable-peace-of-mind-1-of-8-series/feed/ 0 How To Be A Great Husband http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/how-to-be-a-great-husband/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/how-to-be-a-great-husband/#comments Mon, 25 Jan 2010 21:58:52 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=221 Be a Great HusbandOne of the things I love most about being The Relationship Specialist is that I get to empower relationships.  I particularly love to teach men how to be their best so that their women totally adore them.  Here are some of the essential principles for becoming a great husband.

  • Listen To Her Feelings.  You might not understand or agree but listen.  Most men argue or get frustrated.  A great husband conveys unconditional support to his wife.  He makes it safe for her to share all sides of herself.
  • Spend Time With Her.  Let your actions clearly show that your wife is your greatest priority.  She needs to know that she is special to you.  Most men choose sports, T.V. or hunting/fishing.  You can have these things but if your wife doesn’t know she comes first in your life then she may resent your other pursuits.
  • Be Her Champion.  Your wife needs to feel your strength and security.  “I’m here for you” is the point you want to make.  Despite other messages she may give you, women hate having to be in charge all of the time.  Great husbands stand by their wives no matter what.
  • Let Her Know That You Are Captivated By Her Beauty.  Great husbands let their wives know that they only have eyes for her.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/how-to-be-a-great-husband/feed/ 0 How To Stay Motivated – Even When You Don’t Feel Like It http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/how-to-stay-motivated-even-when-you-dont-feel-like-it/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/how-to-stay-motivated-even-when-you-dont-feel-like-it/#comments Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:43:54 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=208 I filmed this video with the goal of Helping individuals and couples stick with their New Year’s Resolutions. I quickly realized it was also a great resource on how to stay motivated even when you don’t feel like it! Please listen and watch the whole video (I would hate for people to take things out of context) – and if you try my advice – please let me know how you did!

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/how-to-stay-motivated-even-when-you-dont-feel-like-it/feed/ 0 Resolve To Be A Great Partner http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/resolve-to-be-a-great-partner/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/resolve-to-be-a-great-partner/#comments Tue, 12 Jan 2010 19:58:26 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=202 I Challenge You to raise the Bar on Yourself! – Decide to be a Great Partner in your relationship, become so amazing that you inspire your partner and others!
Inspirational Relationship Advice from The Relationship Specialist, author Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

… Or for more information on his Best Selling Book “How To Be A Great Partner” visit http://www.howtobeagreatpartner.com/

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/resolve-to-be-a-great-partner/feed/ 1 Secrets for a Wonderful Start to Marriage http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/secrets-for-a-wonderful-start-to-marriage/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/secrets-for-a-wonderful-start-to-marriage/#comments Mon, 11 Jan 2010 21:02:27 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=195 Wonderful Marriage SecretsSometimes couples have unrealistic expectations about what marriage should be like for them. These needs are everything from provisional to emotional. Trying to meet these expectations can be quite a task. Presupposing these expectations will be met can be disastrous. When your expectations are not met this sets you up to be unhappy and to complain. This can quickly frustrate even the happiest of newlyweds. Strengthen your marriage with a solid foundation. Make sure you start off with the right tools.

  1. Remember that it is an adjustment to being together. Give it time. Working out the questions of who is going to do what and how should it be done can cause conflict. Questions like, ” Who is going to pay the bills?” “Who is going to clean the bathrooms?” “Which church are we going to attend?” must be answered. Don’t let these adjustment challenges come between you and the one you love.

  2. Embrace your spouse’s differences versus criticizing them or trying to change them. Be your spouse’s biggest fan. Stay away from stereotypes that your partner won’t be able to fulfill. You will break their spirit if you expect them to be just like your mom, your dad, or someone else you admire. Be appreciative of your spouse. It takes time for a marriage to mature.

  3. Fortify your commitment to each other. Never threaten divorce. You’ll probably think about it at some point in your marriage but don’t ever say it. (This does not apply to situations that involve abuse.) Threatening divorce will dilute the commitment between you. Your message needs to be, “I’m Here For You No Matter What.”

  4. Don’t let friends, parents, or in-laws interfere with your marriage. You are inviting trouble if you do. Be quick to set limits with people who try and interfere with your marriage. By not speaking up you will be setting yourselves up to have your marriage undermined. You and your spouse need to establish your own expectations for your marriage.

  5. Try not to go to bed angry. Staying connected to each other is more important. However, if you catch yourselves in a situation in which emotions are too high, you may have to back off and readdress the matter at a later time. Conflict if handled properly can be productive. Promise to fight fairly and do the right thing even if you don’t feel like it.

    6. Keep These Points In Mind At Times Of Conflict

    * Don’t Yell
    * Don’t Out Talk Them
    * Don’t Use Profanity
    * Don’t Interrupt
    * Don’t Name Call
    * Don’t Dismiss Their Ideas As Stupid
    * Don’t throw all of your problems into the conflict.
    * Don’t Forget That You Love Each Other.
    * Try and stick to the subject at hand.

  6. Get away with each other about every 6 to 8 weeks. This means by yourselves. No friends, no parents, and no children. I know this is easier said than done but it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. It can be a simple day trip to a near-by town or state park. So near-by or far away, just go. My Marriage and Family Therapy Professor at Valdosta State University, Dr. John Curtis, used to teach us that this is one of the best ways to keep your marriage fresh and alive.

If you are a newlywed, practice these principles. If you’ve been married for a while, recommit yourself to these principles. Strive To Have A Wonderful Marriage.

Best Of Wishes,
Mark Webb

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/secrets-for-a-wonderful-start-to-marriage/feed/ 0 15 Strategies Towards Becoming Your Best Self http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/15-strategies-towards-becoming-your-best-self/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/15-strategies-towards-becoming-your-best-self/#comments Fri, 08 Jan 2010 14:54:37 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=169

Becoming Your Best Self & Couple1. Decide to be the best that you can be.

2. Learn to see your positive qualities.  Make a list of 20 positive traits that you have.

3. Stop putting yourself down in front of other people.

4. Limit the amount of time you spend with negative people.

5. Give and receive compliments.

6. Be enthusiastic.

7. Develop your sense of humor.  Don’t take yourself so seriously.

8. Be kind to everyone you interact with.

9. Don’t be easily offended.

10. Attend church and pay attention while there.

11. Seek outstanding role models.  They can teach you how to     speed up the learning process.

12. Dare to be unpopular.

13. Remind yourself daily that you are striving to be your best.

14. Wake up happy.  Get your day off to a positive   start.

15. Give yourself positive messages such as “I can” and “I will”.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

]]> http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2010/01/15-strategies-towards-becoming-your-best-self/feed/ 0 Should You Give Them Another Chance? http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2009/12/should-you-give-them-another-chance/ http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2009/12/should-you-give-them-another-chance/#comments Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:21:22 +0000 Mark Webb http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/?p=71 yellingYou’ve been hurt for the last time.  You’ve drawn the line to end the aggravation.  You declare, “No More!”

Now they are sincerely asking for another chance.  “I’ll do anything”, they cry out with a trembling voice.  Their hurt moves you.  What if they really mean it this time?  How can you be sure?

Keep these 5 points in mind:

  1. You don’t have to give them another chance.  Remembering this point first can save you a lot of unnecessary thinking and unnecessary conversations.
  2. If they are sincere, they will keep their promises.  If they said they will stop yelling, then they will stop.  If they said they will go to therapy, then they will schedule appointments and go (with or without you).
  3. They won’t pressure you.  They will give you plenty of time and space.
  4. You will notice more thoughtful listening.  Their attitude will be humble, not arrogant or pouting.
  5. You should see an 80% to 90% improvement in areas of their behavior that you had previously complained about, maybe even 100%.

Mark Webb is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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