How To Get Your Husband To Help More Around The House Without Nagging Him To Death

Are you tired of playing out this same scenario?  Men, there is nothing worse than a tired woman who is facing a house full of chores, especially when she sees you laying on the couch watching television with no intention to help whatsoever.

Ladies,   do you realize that you probably have it better than your mama did?  Researchers have discovered that men today do four to five times more household chores than their fathers did.  Still, when you compare between men and women, men do a lot less.

Points That Husbands Should Consider:

1) Husbands, by involving yourself in the housework, you tell your wife that the housework is important and valuable to keeping the home comfortable.  This indirectly tells her, she is also important and valuable.

2) You set a good example for your children.

3) Do the chores with a positive attitude.  She would rather not have your help than listen to you grumble the whole time.

4) Make the housework part of your together time.  As you do the chores you can also talk about how your days went.

5) Every wife appreciates your help, especially if you do it without her having to ask you.

6) Is this how you would treat a date or your best friend?  If you don’t think the chores are your responsibility, then do them out of the love you feel for your wife.  This will give her an opportunity to relax with you afterwards which will most likely lay the groundwork for more romantic endeavors.

7) When she divorces you for not helping her; you’ll be doing all of it by yourself.  You should really think about this one.

1) Ask Him.  I know you’re thinking, “I shouldn’t have to.  It’s his house too!”  I agree.  If you want to get this train rolling then I suggest you ask him and do so in a loving manner.  Explain in a calm manner how your predicament of doing the housework is negatively impacting you.

2) Don’t Give Him A List.  Men tend to reject lists unless they made the list themselves.  If you stack too many requests on a guy too soon you will be doomed to fail with this transformation.

3) Play Music That He Likes.  Music calms the savage beast.  Turn it up.  You could find a ballgame on the radio as an alternative.

4) Don’t Play Games.  Some “experts” suggest that you let the housework go.  The premise is that a cleaning strike will show him how valuable you are.  However this will backfire.  Your husband will step over and walk around the point you are trying to make.

5) Don’t Nag.  The more you nag, the less he will do.  A contest of wills between the two of you will only produce strife and frustration.

6) Don’t Demand He Do It Now.  Standing over him yelling “Do it now!” won’t help.  Backing off will give him a greater sense of self control which is more conducive with how men operate.

7) Focus On What He Does, Not On What He Doesn’t Do.  How would you like it if your husband pointed out your flaws and never noticed your good qualities?  You would grow to resent him.  It’s the same with men and housework.

8) Are Your Expectations Too High?  Be careful not to over-critique his work.  Don’t dismiss him in an angry huff if he doesn’t do the job just the way you want.  He will respond from then on with, “It’s never good enough for you so why don’t you do it yourself.”

9) Teach Him.  You might be surprised to learn that your husband was never taught how to use a mop or operate the washing machine.  Even if he does know how he may not do it the way you would like.  Don’t get aggravated, teach him how.  Most husbands want to please their wife.

10)Consider Marriage Counseling.  If nothing seems to be working, therapy may uncover the root cause of the problem.

11)Increase Your Appreciation.  Give him the words of thank you that you probably aren’t getting yourself.  Positive reinforcement works well on encouraging repeat performance.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his websites at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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The Final installment of  Starting Off With A Positive Attitude, by Author Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T. aka “The Relationship Specialist”

Excerpt from Video and Articles: “Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, I hate this! This is driving me crazy! I cant stand this! These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as I can handle this. This is not that big of a deal. I have unshakable peace of mind. Nothing bothers me. Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace and build a positive attitude. ”

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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Starting Off With A Positive Attitude, by Author Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T. aka “The Relationship Specialist”

Excerpt from Video and Articles: “Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, I hate this! This is driving me crazy! I cant stand this! These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as I can handle this. This is not that big of a deal. I have unshakable peace of mind. Nothing bothers me. Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace and build a positive attitude. ”

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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Starting Off With A Positive Attitude, by Author Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T. aka “The Relationship Specialist”

Excerpt from Video and Articles: “Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, I hate this! This is driving me crazy! I cant stand this! These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as I can handle this. This is not that big of a deal. I have unshakable peace of mind. Nothing bothers me. Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace and build a positive attitude. ”

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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Starting Off With A Positive Attitude, by Author Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T. aka “The Relationship Specialist”

Excerpt from Video and Articles: “Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, I hate this! This is driving me crazy! I cant stand this! These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as I can handle this. This is not that big of a deal. I have unshakable peace of mind. Nothing bothers me. Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace and build a positive attitude. ”

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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Starting Off With A Positive Attitude, by Author Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T. aka “The Relationship Specialist”

Excerpt from Video and Articles: “Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, I hate this! This is driving me crazy! I cant stand this! These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as I can handle this. This is not that big of a deal. I have unshakable peace of mind. Nothing bothers me. Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace and build a positive attitude. ”

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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The world has a lot of negative people in it. Are you one of them? Do you expect the worst from situations? Do you criticize more often than praise? It does not have to be this way. A positive attitude can be as simple as changing the way you look at things.

The solution is simple but changing old belief patterns is not always easy to do. Most of us have been stuck in old belief patterns for quite some time. The problem with negative patterns is that they do not get us what we want out of life.

For example, we often believe the events of our past can pretty much predict our futures. With this being the case, we spend a lot of time worrying about our past and our future. By doing this we miss the opportunity to enjoy today.

So how do we learn to live in the here and now? What we often forget, is that we have a choice. We can choose to experience happiness instead of getting caught up in the chaos of negative thinking. Making the goal of peace of mind and happiness your single most important goal. When you catch yourself falling back into old negative ways, switch your focus back to your goal.

Other factors are also involved. For instance, we spent a lot of time trying to control others; their thoughts, their feelings, and their actions. We can only change how we see the world, other people and ourselves. Once again it boils down to what we choose to do.

We can also learn to see the goodness in ourselves, our relationships and in our work place. Happiness will come easier this way as opposed to finding fault in our world.

A part of having a positive lifestyle is sharing it with others. So you remember how good it feels to do something for someone else without being asked to do it. This is what is called an unconditional gift of love. Look for opportunities to do good deeds for others or give them praise for their abilities. Goodwill can be contagious.

Another factor needed for true happiness is forgiveness. Forgiveness is more than just telling someone, “I forgive you”, it comes from sincere intentions. This will free us from our negative feelings such as guilt, sadness, fear, anger and resentment.

Knowing these principles is one thing, living them is another. It takes time to change old ways of thinking but it is worth the time and effort. If we are willing to work at being consistent in what we think say and do, true happiness will be ours.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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What do you think about most of the time?  Your world is a mirror of your thoughts.  If your life isn’t going in the direction that you want it to, then something is wrong with your thought processes.  If you change your thinking, you can change your world.  Successful people think about what they want and how to get it.  Those with the highest expectations are the winners in life.  You are limited only by your ability to envision a better you.

You become what you think about!  I call this the Formula For Success.  If you want to improve in any way, you have to change your self concept.  You can be no bigger than your self image.  If you have a poor self image, you are not going to get very far.  Most of us have had our growth stunted by the negative influence of other people’s opinions.  I’m here to tell you that someone else’s opinion of you doesn’t have to be your reality.

Inside of you lies the seed of achievement which, if activated, will lead you to levels of fulfillment that you may never have hoped to reach.  You can do things that are beyond your greatest imagination if you will start seeing yourself bigger than you presently are.  See yourself as successful and fulfilled in all areas of your life.  Think in terms of your health, emotional well-being, spirituality and family/community connectedness.  You daydream anyway; so why not harness the energy of what you are already doing?

The Bible says, “As a man thinketh, so shall he become…”  So see yourself as more than capable to handle whatever comes your way.  Know that you are competent and resourceful.  Maintain an image of being unstoppable.  Keep your mind on the things that you want and off the things you don’t want.  This is why worrying is so dangerous.  This is how you build mountains out of molehills.

As a therapist, a large part of what I do is to teach people how to focus their attention.  A positive attitude toward treatment has a tremendous effect on the outcome.  People’s expectations impact how they behave.  If patients expect to get well, they are more likely to be compliant with the medical recommendations presented.  The resulting benefits are a stronger immune system, more energy, enthusiasm, creativity and happiness.

Being optimistic is the single greatest quality you can develop.  It is imperative to decide exactly what you want and to focus on ideal outcomes.  Expect positive results.  Visualize your goals as if they were already attained.  Make your life all that it can be!

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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Starting Off With A Positive Attitude, by Author Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T. aka “The Relationship Specialist”

Excerpt from Video and Articles: “Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, I hate this! This is driving me crazy! I cant stand this! These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as I can handle this. This is not that big of a deal. I have unshakable peace of mind. Nothing bothers me. Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace and build a positive attitude. ”

Let Mark Guide you into a Positive Attitude, for more information check out http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2009/12/starting-off-with-a-positive-attitude/
—————————————- ————————
Author’s Bio:

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner.

Share on Facebook

Starting Off With A Positive Attitude, by Author Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T. aka “The Relationship Specialist”

Excerpt from Video and Articles: “Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, I hate this! This is driving me crazy! I cant stand this! These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as I can handle this. This is not that big of a deal. I have unshakable peace of mind. Nothing bothers me. Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace and build a positive attitude. ”

Let Mark Guide you into a Positive Attitude, for more information check out http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2009/12/starting-off-with-a-positive-attitude/
—————————————- ————————
Author’s Bio:

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner.

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Your attitude will determine your outcome.  If you don’t have a positive attitude, you will never achieve your resolutions.  Keep this in mind when you start toward any goal.  Having the right attitude isn’t something that just happens.  It is the result of a conscious effort.  As you get dressed in the morning, you would never walk into your closet and say to your clothes, “Okay, time to jump aboard” and expect to be dressed.  You know that you have to put your clothes on.  Having a positive attitude is a similar process; you have to consciously put one on.  You have to decide that you are going to be positive in your thoughts about yourself, others and the world you live in.

Here are 7 simple but powerful strategies to help you become a more positive person.

1.     Wake Up Happy.  I meet so many people who start their day off with negative statements like “I don’t want to go to work today.”  “I don’t want to go to school.”  “I’m so tired.”  “I can’t wake up until I have my morning coffee.”
Train yourself to Wake Up Happy.  You can sing in the shower or listen to music that is uplifting.  You could have breakfast with someone you like who is positive and optimistic.  You could have a morning prayer time or read a devotional.

By training yourself to wake up happy, you are setting the pace of your day.  Don’t leave your attitude to be determined by other people or situations beyond your control.  Start your day with a positive note.

2.     Take Control Of Your Physiology.  What I mean by this is that you pay attention to how you use your body.  Walk or stand up straight.  Walk 15% to 25% faster.  Take full, deep breaths.  Use a wider range of tonality and facial expressions.  Maintain good eye contact.  Observe people who you believe are positive and energetic.  Notice how they carry themselves.  Positive people carry themselves differently than negative people do.  Think of times in your life in which you were feeling your best.  Reflect back on your posture, the gestures you make, and your tone of voice.  Learn how to master your previous positive states and mirror the physiology of those you want to emulate.

3.     Your Language Determines Your Destiny.  Make sure that your thoughts and words are positive.  The language you use, whether spoken or not must be positive.  People don’t know what you’re thinking but this doesn’t give you permission to be inconsistent.  Line up your thoughts and words with the kind of person you want to be.  The language you use can either build you up or psych you out.  Any negative statement can be reframed in a more positive manner.  Watch out for statements that predict negative outcomes.  Here are a few that will derail you every time:  “I’m so nervous”, “I’m so depressed”, I have a bad temper”.  If you are going to put labels on yourself, at least use empowering ones.  Try these on and notice the difference.  “I’m in excellent health and have boundless energy!”  “I never get sick!”  “I have unshakeable peace of mind!”  “I’m a Great Wife!”  “I’m a Great Husband!”

4.     Look For The Good In Everyone You Meet And In Every Situation You Find Yourself In.  I know it is harder to see in some people and in some situations but everyone has their good points and so will every situation.

5.     Expect The Best Of Yourself And Others.  Keep your mind tuned into the things you want and off of the things you don’t want.  Your brain has a mechanism that is designed to notice things that are similar to your existing thoughts.  Think of the last time you purchased a car.  Do you remember prior to the purchase, you hadn’t noticed that many cars like yours but the moment you drive it off the car lot you start to see them all over the place.  This is how it is when you expect the best.  Your brain will lead you to the expectations you desire.  Make sure your thoughts are tuned into positive things.

6.     Associate With Winners.  A winner is someone who is positive, optimistic, lives life to the fullest, and inspires you to be your best self.  Strive to limit your interactions with negative people.  Negative people will drain you of your energy and sense of hope.

7.     Seek Out The Power Of Role Models.  Stop trying to reinvent the wheel.  Seek out people in our community who are excelling in the areas you want to better yourself.  This can be a great parent or spouse, a successful business person, a strong spiritual example, or student.  The paths to success have already been paved.  If you follow them, you are sure to succeed as well.  An outstanding role model can save you years of trial and error.

You can alter the course of your life by altering your attitude.  Nothing can stop a person with a positive mental attitude from achieving their goals.  On the flipside, nothing can help a person with a negative attitude.  Commit yourself to starting off your todays with a positive attitude.

Mark Webb is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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Starting Off With A Positive Attitude, by Author Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T. aka “The Relationship Specialist”

Excerpt from Video and Articles: “Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, I hate this! This is driving me crazy! I cant stand this! These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as I can handle this. This is not that big of a deal. I have unshakable peace of mind. Nothing bothers me. Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace and build a positive attitude. ”

Let Mark Guide you into a Positive Attitude, for more information check out http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2009/12/starting-off-with-a-positive-attitude/
—————————————- ————————
Author’s Bio:

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner.

Share on Facebook

Starting Off With A Positive Attitude, by Author Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T. aka “The Relationship Specialist”

Excerpt from Video and Articles: “Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, I hate this! This is driving me crazy! I cant stand this! These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as I can handle this. This is not that big of a deal. I have unshakable peace of mind. Nothing bothers me. Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace and build a positive attitude. ”

Let Mark Guide you into a Positive Attitude, for more information check out http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2009/12/starting-off-with-a-positive-attitude/
—————————————- ————————
Author’s Bio:

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner.

Share on Facebook

Starting Off With A Positive Attitude, by Author Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T. aka “The Relationship Specialist”

Excerpt from Video and Articles: “Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, I hate this!  This is driving me crazy! I cant stand this!  These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire.  You are making it much more intense.  Replace these with positive declarations such as I can handle this. This is not that big of a deal.  I have unshakable peace of mind.  Nothing bothers me.  Your thoughts will direct your emotions.  Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace. ”

Let Mark Guide you into a Positive Attitude, for more information check out http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com/2009/12/starting-off-with-a-positive-attitude/

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