I Challenge You to raise the Bar on Yourself! – Decide to be a Great Partner in your relationship, become so amazing that you inspire your partner and others!
Inspirational Relationship Advice from The Relationship Specialist, author Mark Webb, M.S., L.M.F.T.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

… Or for more information on his Best Selling Book “How To Be A Great Partner” visit http://www.howtobeagreatpartner.com/

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“I am a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it.”
~Thomas Jefferson

In June of 2008, I won two titles as World Champion in Songahm Taekwondo at the World Championships in Little Rock, Arkansas. Many of my readers didn’t know I have a Fourth Degree Black Belt in Taekwondo. After winning the titles of World Champion in Forms and Weapons, I have frequently been asked how I achieved this challenging goal.

Angela Crance with Valdosta Technical College asked me to speak at the annual leadership conference – A Gathering of Eagles. At this event, I shared some of the training principles I applied to the achievement of this goal. I believe these principles will make a champion of anyone who applies them; whether you want to be a leader in your organization, a great partner, an amazing parent, or a wonderful friend. Whatever your dream may be, these principles will work in any area of your life.

One of the main lessons I learned in my quest was that you set a goal not for the achievement itself but for what you become in the process.

Here are 7 Principles for Success:

1). If you want the things that most people do not have, you must be willing to do the things that most people will not do. Determine that you will do whatever it takes for as long as it takes. Be willing to pay the price. The rewards of a goal obtained are usually worth it. Keep your priorities straight and you won’t have any regrets. Be willing to do more than the average person. Do not settle for less than what you are truly capable of achieving.
2). Work so hard that if you fail you will have no excuses. When I returned from the Taekwondo Fall National Tournament in October 2007, I was very discouraged. I did not place in any event. I had competed against the best in the country and my performance was not in their league. I decided that I was going to give my training all that I could give. I would train every morning and again when I finished work for the day. I was not going to allow any slack in my efforts over the next eight months to follow. I would make no exceptions because if I lost at the 2008 World Championships I did not want to live with the awareness that if I had trained harder at some point along the way, I might have won.
3). Show Up…and then just keep moving. Most people’s dreams will never become a reality because people never even begin. Most people never get beyond the “thinking about it” stage. If you will simply get started you will be surprised at how things will evolve. It is like the Chinese Proverb, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” So if your goal is to become a leader in your industry, read a book on the subject. Then read another or perhaps go to a seminar. Maybe you could talk with someone in our community who is already doing what you want to do and ask them their secrets to success. Success leaves clues. Follow the steps. These steps added together will eventually create a leader out of you.
4). Have a question that drives you. A great question can keep you going. A lot of my training had to be done outdoors because my competition weapon was a bow staff (a six foot long wooden staff). I love to work out but I struggled almost every morning with getting out of bed. There were many cold, rainy mornings when I did not want to get out of bed at 5:00 am. The question that kept me going was “What would a champion do?”
Even though my body said, “NO”, my heart answered, “A champion would get up and start his training.” And I did.

Your question could be: What would a great husband or wife do? What would a great father or mother do?

5). Tap into the power of your hardheadedness. If you are like most of us, you are hardheaded. Use this attribute to your advantage. I like working with hardheaded clients because once they decide to do something, they achieve it. Make your mind up that your are going to accomplish your goal. Pretend that someone has said to you that you are not man or woman enough to do what you have set out to do. You know that pulls your chain; your response is, “I’ll show them!” This determination has amazing power. Tap into it!

6). Call things forth as if they were true. A very simple yet powerful technique is to write down your goals. This can be done privately in a notebook or posted somewhere you will see often. I wrote, “Mark Webb is the 2008 World Champion in Forms and Weapons” on a 5×7 index card and put it on my refrigerator. I saw it every day and six months later it was true.

I also encourage you to say your goal out loud. There is more power in the spoken word. Remember, God spoke the world into existence. You do not have to say it in front of anyone, but it does help you to verbally claim it.

7). Apply your spiritual beliefs. After I had completely prepared myself, I asked God to bless me with victory. I did not ask without having done my part. I had trained daily and traveled many weekends to cities far away. Ask God to bless you in your endeavors.

I encourage you to set big goals. Be committed and persistent. You can have more and be more. Once you achieve this goal, set another, then another.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his websites at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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“No great thing is created suddenly” ~ Epictetus, philosopher

So much power exists in the little things. It is the little things that can make a good relationship, great. Conversely, the little things can destroy a relationship. Here are eight common behaviors that may not be deal breakers but these behaviors will ruin your chances of ever having happiness in your relationship.

1) Always trying to get in the last word. If this is you, then be prepared for a relationship in which your partner will eventually stop talking to you. It is better to be a good listener than to be a dominating talker. Don’t be too competitive. Don’t always try to win a discussion or create a debate. Couples get too caught up in games of power. This is a situation in which you cannot truly win. As a therapist, I have come to believe that the person who gets the last word in typically loses. They may win the battle but they lose their partner’s love and respect.
2) Forgetting Holidays and Anniversaries. Forgetting once can be hurtful. Forgetting often is disheartening. Never recognizing these dates will be lethal. I say forgetting, but it may be more deliberate. A deliberate refusal to honor your partner’s birthday, your wedding anniversary, or some other special event is mean and cruel. You and I both know it is typically the guys who are guilty of this. I plead with my brothers to fix this problem before it becomes an emergency. Once a woman has had enough of this, she will emotionally divorce you.
3) Being Too Proud. Hardheadedness can either be a blessing or a curse. It is good to be determined but it is bad to be stubborn. If you are wrong; admit it. If you have said or done something hurtful; apologize. You can do wonders for your relationship if you will simply learn to say “I’m sorry.” or “I was wrong.” I also encourage you to go back and acknowledge any past errors. It takes a big person to be able to do this but you will experience more love in your life if you do.
4) Never acknowledging your partner’s efforts. Acknowledge housework, going to work, bringing home a paycheck, and being actively involved in the raising of the children. This list can be long but don’t take your partner for granted. Relationships are more about choices than obligations regardless of how it may feel. Make positive choices. Learn to say thank you and say it often.
5) Making jokes at your partner’s expense. It’s okay to be funny and I encourage playfulness. Just don’t allow yourself to cross the line by putting your partner down or hurting their feelings. Don’t point out your partner’s shortcomings or twist things about them in an effort to get a laugh. Referring to your partner as the “old ball and chain” really isn’t that funny. Even if your partner is truly too slow or a hyper force of nature, do you have to single out these behaviors? Instead of putdowns, use words that will lift your partner up.
6) Being mean. Hatefulness will never build love and respect in your relationship. I don’t care if you are angry, tired, or had a bad day. There is no excuse for this. When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out. When life squeezes you, what comes out is a reflection of what’s on the inside of you. Meanness is a negative response that is usually rooted in negative past experiences that have never been dealt with. In other words, get help. Read books, go to therapy, talk with your pastor. Whatever it may take to heal the wounds of your past.
7) Being a Cheapo. I’m not talking about the wisdom of good financial decision making. I’m talking about stinginess and selfishness. That dollar you are saving could be costing you a fortune. A cheapo cuts too many corners and treats their partner as second class citizens. Your partner shouldn’t have to beg for the things they want and need (within reason).
8) Frequent temper tantrums. Outbursts of stress and anger can be very taxing on a relationship. Learn how to manage your stress versus taking it out on your partner. Don’t threaten divorce; don’t take off your wedding ring, and stop turning over your wedding day photo just because you’re in a bad mood. You have no right to impose your bad mood on someone else; especially the person you say you love.

“Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you.”
~Brian Tracy

Imagine a couple is hiking in the woods and they become lost. They start arguing about whose fault it is. “If you had remembered the compass…” or “If you had taken that left turn I pointed out…” Meanwhile, it’s getting later, colder, and you’re both hungry. Now is the time that one or both of you should drop the debate and take your partner by the hand and say, “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is, let’s just get out of here.”
Never underestimate your ability to improve a relationship. One person can change the course of a relationship. If you are guilty of any of these negative behaviors, resolve to change your ways. Strive to be a partner that your partner will respect and admire.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies” Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his websites at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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2011 Relationship Advice – Part #7 – Focus on Whats Great About Your Partner (of a 12 part series)

Mark Webb, L.M.F.T. give his famed Relationship guidance in this 12 part series. This is the 7th part of the series entitled “Be Singularly Focused On Your Relationship”, please watch all parts of the series in succession or contact Mark via his website for a DVD of the whole Series.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies” Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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2011 Relationship Advice – Part #6 – Focus on Whats Great About Your Partner (of a 12 part series)

Mark Webb, L.M.F.T. give his famed Relationship guidance in this 12 part series. This is the 6th part of the series entitled “Focus on Whats Great About Your Partner”, please watch all parts of the series in succession or contact Mark via his website for a DVD of the whole Series.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies” Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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Everyone makes mistakes when it comes to relationships.  Repeating the same mistakes over and over can spell disaster for your relationship’s future.  It is always a good idea to stop and evaluate how you are doing every once and awhile.  Mistakes can be a powerful teaching experience.  Strive to learn from your mistakes.  I also like to learn from other couple’s mistakes.  This is much wiser than learning through your own trial and error.

Can you relate to these common relationship mistakes?
-    Forgetting to say “Thank you” and “I’m sorry”.
-    Taking your partner for granted.  Not letting them know you appreciate the things they do for you.
-    Being petty.  Making a big deal out of little things.  Nag, nag, nag.
-    Always trying to be right.  Refusing to lose an argument and becoming mean if you see you’re not going to win.
-    Refusing to forgive or forget past hurts or mistakes.
-    Forgetting special occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
-    Expecting your partner to think and be like you.  Getting aggravated when they are not like you.
-    Being chronically late.  Making your partner wait for you.
-    Not involving your partner in decisions.
-    Magnifying your partner’s weaknesses as a way of making yourself feel superior to them.
-    Not taking care of yourself.  Allowing yourself to get out of shape, worn out and tired.
-    Treating your partner wonderfully in public but negatively in private.  It’s just a big show for the neighbors.
-    Not pulling your weight with the household responsibilities.  Sitting around while your partner busts their tail.
-    Always putting your children first thus neglecting your partner.  Children’s needs are important but they shouldn’t drain the relationship.
-    Going to bed angry and refusing to speak to your partner.  The silent treatment can be quite loud.
-    Not allowing your partner to spend time with their friends or family.
-    Putting your best self towards your education or career and giving your partner the leftovers.  Why are you working so hard in the first place?
-    Threaten to end the relationship when you are angry.

Awareness is the first key towards change.  Whether you are making these mistakes or others not mentioned, here are some corrective measures you can take.
1.    Always strive to do your best for your partner; even when you are tired or stressed out.  Stress is never an excuse to mistreat your partner.  Make your relationship a sanctuary for the two of you from the stressors of life.
2.    Be determined to succeed as a partner.  A strong determination will make up for any lack of skill or experience.  If you believe in your relationship, then fight for it.  Don’t let minor things come between you.  Regret is a terrible thing.
3.    Commit yourself to doing whatever it takes to become a great partner.  A great partner will always do more for the relationship than a good partner will.
4.    Set long term goals for your relationship.  This will decrease your short term frustrations.  A lot of people become discouraged if they don’t see immediate results.  Be patient with yourself and with your partner.
5.    Remember that, “You can’t be right and be together.”  Don’t waste your time with who is right.  Instead strive to do the right thing for your relationship.  Sacrifice for the sake of love.
6.    Make your partner feel special.  Treat them as if they were a King or Queen.  Exercise thoughtfulness towards your partner and make kindness a habit.  Don’t worry about them becoming a monster.  If they abuse the royal treatment, then drag them to therapy.

If there have been mistakes, forgive yourself and your partner as well.  Then strive to correct the problems.  As long as you are together, there will be mistakes.  Let your mistakes teach and guide you towards becoming a great partner.

Best of Wishes,

Mark Webb

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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How would you like to increase the odds in your favor that your marriage will be head and shoulders above the rest?  Now a days men and women, especially young people are skeptical about the possibility of having a great marriage.  So many couples seem to be unhappy.  Is there hope that a wonderful marriage can exist?  You can bet on it and here are 10 of the secrets for guaranteeing your success.

(1)    Accept and Embrace Your Partner’s Differences.
A common dilemma for couples is to try and change their partner.  Sure they may have annoying habits or mannerisms but as soon as you start criticizing them or trying to reform their wrongness, your partner will resist you.  They’ll become defensive and then it becomes a battle of wills.  It may take years to determine whose will is the strongest and the marriage may not be able to endure this challenge.  From my years of experience, the fastest way to change them is to accept and embrace their differences and they’ll give them up much faster.

(2)    Staying Connected Is More Important Than Being Right.
Memorize this statement:  “You Can’t Be Right and Be Married!”

You need to decide, which it is going to be.  The sooner you decide to be married, the happier the marriage will be.

(3)    You Get Out Of It What You Put Into It.
If you want the best that marriage can offer, then you need to put your best into it.  The amount of energy you give your marriage will determine the degree of passion and the length of the honeymoon.

(4)    Regularly Get Away From Your Daily Routine.
This doesn’t have to be a vacation.  It can equate to an afternoon in the park.  If one of you normally does the grocery shopping, then go together.  Look for simple ways to mix up the routine so the relationship doesn’t become dull.  Keep your partner on their toes, but in a positive way.

(5)    Convey Your Partner’s Importance To Them.
If you get this point right, you will score in a big way.  Hardly anyone gets this one right.  Make sure that your partner knows with absolute certainty that:
(a)    They Are Enough For You.  Let your partner know that you only have eyes for them.
(b)    That You Are Always There For Them.  It’s easy to be there for your partner when they are happy but a great spouse will be there even when their partner is moody or worse.

(6)    Fight Fairly.
Treat your spouse with respect even if you are angry or upset.  Strive to exemplify honor towards your mate even if they are not doing that in return.  Set an example.  Don’t use language you wouldn’t want your partner to hear.  Don’t pull up too many past grievances.  Don’t say things you cannot take back.  Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.

(7)    Make The Marriage The Priority.
Work is important and so are your children but be careful how you set your priorities.  Marriage cannot always be the priority but it should find itself at the top of the list most of the time.

(8)    Savor Every Day.
Don’t take your spouse for granted.  Tomorrow is not promised to anyone so always make the most of every moment with your spouse.  How would you treat your spouse today if you knew they were going to die at midnight?  I bet your day would be a lot different.  How would you look at them?  How would you hold them?  What would you say?  I wonder how your marriage will be if you exercise this discipline for the next 2 to 4 weeks.

(9)    Talk About Your Future Together.
Spend time sharing your goals and dreams for you as a couple.  This gives reassurance and hope to the marriage which in turn helps strengthen the sense of commitment.  Talk about places you would like to visit and things you would like to do together.

(10)    Believe In The “Fairy Tale” Aspects Of Love.
Life can be hard but do not let it make you hard.  Hold on to the belief of happy endings.  Believe in princes and princesses and the innocence of love.  Once you stop believing, you become jaded.  Once this happens, the magic of love will eventually die.  This may sound childish or illogical but this believing will keep your marriage forever young.

Having a great marriage is possible and your efforts will bring you many wonderful rewards.  You just have to make the decision to have a great marriage and then strive to be consistent with your efforts.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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Does your marriage revolve around your children or grandchildren?  Do you and your spouse spend too much time apart?  Have you grown apart?  Imagine your marriage 20 years from now.  How is it going to be if you keep up with your current approach?  If you don’t like the thought of your future with its present course, then your marriage may need a spring cleaning.

Ernest Holmes said, “Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.”  Have your thoughts undermined a once great relationship?  If so, you can redirect your thoughts and thus redirect the future of your marriage.  Most couples put more effort into the planning of their vacation than they do their marriage.

Remember the days of dating each other?  You couldn’t get enough of each other and gladly gave a lot of attention to your partner.  After a couple gets married they are pulled apart by things like their career and the needs of their children.  A routine develops and if the couple isn’t careful, so does a sense of boredom.

Unfortunately, your spouse tends to get blamed for the boredom.  But don’t be too quick to judge.  Simply because you have been together for a number of years doesn’t mean that you know your spouse today.  People change.  As men get older, they tend to shift focus from their career to their family.  Women tend to go in the direction of career because they have put their career pursuits on hold for the sake of their children.

The goals you had early in the marriage have probably changed.  But your partner may have the assumption that you still want things the way they were in the beginning.  Especially in the ages between 35 and 55, what’s important to you and what matters most are usually being re-evaluated.

Talk with your partner about what is really important to you.  What would make your life more satisfying?  Listen to your spouse.  Encourage them to share their views.  Be open to what they say.  Don’t be too sensitive or defensive.  Don’t be judgmental.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you overreact to what they say, your spouse isn’t going to talk to you.

Try to be accepting and positive of what your spouse has to say even if what you hear surprises you.  If you have a hard time keeping your mouth shut, I suggest you sit on your hands.  Somehow this simple behavior helps you keep quiet so that you just listen.  Remember, one good idea could be life changing to your marriage.

Be curious and eager to know your spouse all over again.  It doesn’t take both of you to do the spring cleaning, even though it helps.  You’d be surprised by what one dedicated spouse can do.  And just like the spring cleaning of your home, your marriage deserves many cleanings.  Keep your marriage fresh and alive.  Tap into your ability to dream again.  Rediscover the beauty of your husband or wife.  Take one step today towards the renewing of your marriage.  Then take another step tomorrow.  And so on and so on..

Here are some additional “cleaning solutions” for your marriage.

1. Try to see your spouse with fresh eyes.
2. Keep your mind focused on your spouse’s positive qualities.
3. Forgiveness is letting go of the past.  Forgiving yourself and your spouse is an attribute of the strong.
4. If you are keeping score of your spouse’s mistakes, you are setting your marriage up to fail.
5. Life is too short to allow boredom to infiltrate your marriage.
6. Good things often come from the difficult times.
7. Strive to genuinely understand your spouse.
8. Break your routines to keep the marriage exciting.
9. Maintain an attitude that encourages openness.
10. Strive to find the magic that is waiting to be discovered in your spouse.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

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Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

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Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

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Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

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Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

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Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at <a href=”http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com” target=”_blank”>http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com</a>

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Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

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Angry feelings are a part of almost everyone’s life. Sometimes anger plays a small part without any problems. Other times, however, it becomes a large part of our lives. We may become rigid, mistrustful, or filled with rage. Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with. Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger. We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways. We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

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One of the things I love most about being The Relationship Specialist is that I get to empower relationships.  I particularly love to teach men how to be their best so that their women totally adore them.  Here are some of the essential principles for becoming a great husband.

• Listen To Her Feelings.  You might not understand or agree but listen.  Most men argue or get frustrated.  A great husband conveys unconditional support to his wife.  He makes it safe for her to share all sides of herself.
• Spend Time With Her.  Let your actions clearly show that your wife is your greatest priority.  She needs to know that she is special to you.  Most men choose sports, T.V. or hunting/fishing.  You can have these things but if your wife doesn’t know she comes first in your life then she may resent your other pursuits.
• Be Her Champion.  Your wife needs to feel your strength and security.  “I’m here for you” is the point you want to make.  Despite other messages she may give you, women hate having to be in charge all of the time.  Great husbands stand by their wives no matter what.
• Let Her Know That You Are Captivated By Her Beauty.  Great husbands let their wives know that they only have eyes for her.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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We have been groomed from an early age to believe that we must find the right person and then we will fall in love and get married.  We’ve been told that somehow we’ll know when the right person comes along.  The challenge to this kind of thinking is that love isn’t something you find, it’s something you develop.

The courtship process is crucial.  It gives you and your partner an opportunity to sort out if you are suitable for each other.  A couple of questions you can use to decide if a potential partner is right for you are:

a) Would I want to have a child with this person?
b) Would I be willing to spend my life with this person if they never changed from the way they are now?

Choosing the right partner needs to center around finding a person with good character.  Remember, beauty fades and a charming personality won’t pay the bills.  As a rule of thumb, don’t date anyone you know you wouldn’t want to marry because you never know whom you’ll fall in love with.

Scarlet O’Hara, in Gone with the Wind said, “I can’t think about that now.  I’ll go crazy if I do.  I’ll think about it tomorrow.”  It’s this kind of thinking that gets you into all sorts of trouble.  Pay attention to your instincts.  Warning!! Where there is smoke, there is usually fire.  Here are some of the common things to watch out for:

·        Someone who wants everything now.
·        A fiery temper.
·        Being too picky.
·        Your family doesn’t like him or her.
·        Wanting someone to take care of them.
·        They mistreat other people.
·        They are not over a past love.
·        Any kind of “holic”.
·        People who are mentally and/or emotionally unavailable.
·        Someone who holds grudges.
·        They don’t listen.
·        They don’t call to say they are running late.
·        They have an “it doesn’t matter” attitude.
·        One wants children and the other doesn’t.
·        Incompatible spiritual beliefs.

Few couples, if any, are completely united when the marriage vows are spoken.  The real union develops in the work of the years to come.  When a man and woman marry, they become One.  The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.  Couples need to learn how to make room for their differences and to allow them to peacefully co-exist.  When a couple is strongly connected, all problems become manageable.  When a couple isn’t connected, the smallest challenges seem insurmountable.

If you wait until you are ready for marriage, you never will be.  Marriage is on the job training.  Here are some strategies for becoming Mr. or Mrs. Right.

·        Be kind no matter what.
·        Listen, and then comment if necessary.
·        Commit yourself to your partner.
·        Be respectful.
·        Be quick to apologize and forgive.
·        Remember all holidays and anniversaries
·        Say, “Thank you” and “I love you” often.
·        Decide to be a Great Partner
·        Make your partner’s happiness a priority.

Here is a living example of a Right Couple:

Winston Churchill once attended a formal banquet in which the distinguished guests were asked the question, “If you could not be who you are, who would you like to be?”

Everyone was curious as to how Churchill would answer.  When his turn finally came, he stood and said, “If I could not be who I am, I would most like to be” and he paused to take his wife’s hand  “Lady Churchill’s second husband.”

People with dissatisfying relationships expect a great one to magically show up.  Couples with a great relationship look for ways to make it satisfying.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

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