“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” ~ Zig Ziglar Whenever you may be feeling stressed out, overwhelmed or confronted with a stressful challenge; here are 10 strategies to help you successfully handle the situation: Stay Positive. This is first and foremost in the process of facing stressful times. Negative thinking will not help you whatsoever. Make sure that you stay optimistic about the situation that you face. Tell yourself statements like, “things will go fine and work out for the best”. Even if you do not believe this or see any hope; say it anyway. Verbalizing a positive statement has a very calming effect on your mind and emotions. Keep Your Focus On What Matters. Don’t waste your time worrying about things that are not helpful and are probably only adding to your stress levels. If you are struggling with stressful situations; it will be best for you to keep your thoughts on positive outcome you are trying to achieve. Delegate responsibilities to others if you can and ask for help in completing stressful tasks. Friends and family usually understand and do not mind stepping up to help during stressful times. You’d do the same for them. This kind of help is what makes the world a better place. Remember, sometimes the only thing someone can do for you during your stressful time is help out. Consider this their blessing to you. “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” ~ William James Don’t Dwell On The Obstacles. People commonly confuse themselves by believing that if they fully understand the problem then they will better understand the solution. All this really does is help you understand how you got to where you are but it does not show you how to get to where you want to be. It also makes your problems seem bigger because you are putting your energy into your problems instead of trying to find a solution. “If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times.” ~ Dean Smith Don’t Create Doomsday Scenarios. Don’t ask yourself all of the “what if’s”. You can “what if” yourself to death. Your imagination can be your greatest ally or it can be your worst enemy. It is good to be prepared for stressful outcomes but you need to stay on top of your thoughts that are catastrophic in nature. If you give these thoughts an inch, they will take a mile. “It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” ~ Hans Selye Quiet Your Internal Chatter. One of the simplest ways to quickly establish a sense of groundedness and reduce negative stress is through your physiology. Pull your shoulders back. Hold your head up. Keep your eyes level or upward as opposed to downward. Remember to breathe fully. Use a well-modulated tone of voice. These simple suggestions will greatly reduce the voice of doubt and fear that would otherwise consume you because they pull out the more confident aspects of yourself. Embrace The Stress. Whenever you are faced with something new or a stressful situation, you will experience anxiety. There is no way around this fact. It is up to you whether you run from this truth or try to accept it. Rather than hope that stress will not show up; embrace the truth that it is always a part of growth and life. Live In This Present Moment. This will give you an immediate sense of calmness because it separates you from the pain of your past and the worries of your future. Living in the present will give you clarity and awareness that would otherwise be clouded with racing thoughts of negative interpretations of your past and imaginary concerns of possible outcomes in the future. Take a deep breath and look around yourself and notice how by getting out of your head for a moment, the anxious thoughts will reduce in size and strength. “Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.” ~ Robert Eliot Remember The Serenity Prayer. ” God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Why waste your time worrying about things that you cannot change or control. Put your focus on the things you can do something about. “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” ~ Winston Churchill Take Action. Action Eliminates Doubt. As you take steps of action; you move yourself closer to feelings of peace of mind. This will help you do a better job of devising a positive plan of action. Inform Yourself. Seek wisdom from the experts. You live in a world where knowledge from others is at your fingertips. Tap into this available resource and speed up your ability to figure out the options that are possible. Do a search of similar challenges on the internet and/or seek the guidance of someone who is trained in that area. “Your life is controlled by what you focus on. That’s why you need to focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear. When you find yourself in a state of uncertainty, resist your fear. Shift your focus toward where you want to go and your actions will take you in that direction.” ~ Anthony Robbins Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner. Mark has been in the field of helping individuals and couples since 1986. He has a vast amount of experience and he can have a very positive impact on your life and your relationship. If you are looking for individual or marriage counseling, please call his office in Valdosta, Georgia and his staff will help you set up an appointment. South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center 2704 N. Oak St. Blg B-3 Valdosta, Georgia 31602 229-257-0100

“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.” ~ Edgar Allan Poe • What are your dreams? What were your dreams? Did you dream of continuing school, starting up a business, running a half marathon, writing a book or having a successful career? Life has a way of distracting people from ever getting around to the things that would truly make them happy with their life. • Did you shelve your dreams and what did it cost you? Do you feel tired and burned out? Are you mentally and emotionally older than you should be? Are your days dull and too routine? People without goals and dreams are more prone to depression. • What has killed your dreams? My friend, Matt Franklin of Matt’s Elite Fitness says that most people never achieve their dreams because they give up too easily. He says people typically have no specific plan or if they do; their plan is unrealistic. He goes on to say, that not managing your time and trying to reach your goals by going it alone are other common mistakes that end in under achievement. “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt Here are 7 Secrets That Will Reawaken Your Dreams: 1) Ask “What if…?” “What if…?” is a great question to get your imagination stirred up. Ask yourself, “If I pursued my dreams, how would my days be happier and more energized?” Imagine the possibilities of prioritizing your life to where there was room for your interests and doing what makes you happy, as well as participating in the interests of those around you. Many people never get around to fulfilling their personal dreams because they are too busy taking care of everybody else. There is room to do all of it and you will be more stable if you seek balance in all things. 2) Ask “What Can I Do Now?” If you want to write a book; get out some paper and start writing. If you want to compete in an Ironman competition; put on your running shoes and head out the door. Do what you can. Something is better than nothing. “A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” ~ Oscar Wilde 3) Who Needs To Come and Who Needs To Go? Do you have people in your life who are negative and unmotivated that just seem to suck the life out of you? Maybe it’s time to let these “friends” go. Do you engage in activities that waste a lot of your time, like gaming or lying around the house watching too much television? Do you spend too much time on social media outlets? Do you need to find the assistance of an expert that could re-activate your dreams? An expert example could be a personal trainer to help you get ready for that marathon or work with a writing coach who could speed up the process of completing your book. If you want to reawaken your dreams then you need to associate with people who are going in the same direction you are or they are already there. 4) Seek Sources Of Inspiration. Surround yourself with motivational quotes. Words that can get you going and keep you focused. The internet is a great resource for motivational quotes. You may want to write down the words spoken by someone who once said that you would never amount to anything. Let their negative words light a fire of burning desire within you so you can one day show them that they were wrong. Be deliberate in your choice of movies that will inspire you and read books with stories of people who overcame the odds in pursuit of their dreams. Positive music is inspirational and when it plays in the background of your day, it is subtly influencing you with the positive message, even when you aren’t paying 100% attention to the words. “Nothing happens unless first we dream.” ~ Carl Sandburg 5) Make Reminder Notes. Place post-it notes around your house, office and car with your goals and dreams written on them. These notes will inspire you when you may be tired or on the verge of losing focus. 6) Write A Letter To Yourself. Step into the future twenty five years from now. What would the older and wiser version of you say to the present day you? I imagine the older version of you would tell you to be bolder and more courageous. Imagine one day you look back and realize you can’t climb those hills or dance because of medical issues. Your memories of those pursuits that gave you joy is your balm to chase away the regrets of “I wish I had done that.” The message the future you would give to the present you would encourage fearlessness and reject the notion of timidity. I strongly encourage you to write this letter. It may be quite life-changing for you. After you write it, place it somewhere that you may not see for a while. One day, you may come across it and hopefully, you’ve gotten started on the things you wrote in the letter. If time goes by and you remember the letter, go back and re-read it; hopefully this will continue to inspire you to keep reaching up! 7) Make A Vow To Yourself. Make a total commitment to yourself that you will see your dream through to the end. Making your dreams a reality usually requires a lot of hard work, sweat and unwavering determination. The strength of your commitment will help you stay focused and will fill each day with excitement. “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” ~ Henry David Thoreau Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner. Mark has been in the field of helping individuals and couples since 1986. He has a vast amount of experience and he can have a very positive impact on your life and your relationship. If you are looking for individual or marriage counseling, please call his office in Valdosta, Georgia and his staff will help you set up an appointment. South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center 2704 N. Oak St. Blg B-3 Valdosta, Georgia 31602 229-257-0100

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

“If You Always Put Limits On Everything You Do, Physical Or Anything Else, It Will Spread Into Your Work And Into Your Life. There Are No Limits. There Are Only Plateaus, And You Must Not Stay There…You Must Go Beyond Them.” ~ Bruce Lee 1) Champions Expect To Win. When they step onto their field of choice, they expect that victory will be theirs. They expect success and it is this expectation that leads them to their desired outcome. They walk in faith. 2) Champions Win In Their Mind First. They see victory in their imagination before they actually engage in their activity. 3) Champions Don’t Make Excuses For Their Losses. A Champion believes that their defeats and mistakes are opportunities for growth. They use these times in which they don’t win to bring them wisdom, strength and needed feedback to come back better than before. “Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.” ~ Wilma Rudolph 4) Champions Realize The Small Victories Count. Big wins come about only through the confidence gained in the small wins. Everything counts. Greatness is a process. The smaller challenges teach you the skills needed for when the big ones come. 5) Champions Carry Themselves With Certainty. They are confident. They are relaxed. They believe in themselves and their abilities. 6) Champions Have A Clear Goal. A clear goal will inspire a Champion to go through all the hard work necessary to win. A Champion lives differently than those who do not have a clearly defined goal. Decisions made by Champions are made based on how influential the decision is in moving a Champion toward their goal. “To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you’ve prepared mentally and physically, you don’t have to worry.” ~ Harvey Mackay 7) Champions Aim High. They set goals that challenge them to become their best. Their goal is realistic but difficult enough to push their limits. 8) Champions Train Hard. In order to be a Champion you must have superior skills and ability. A Champion will do more than is expected by his peers or his coach. A Champion pushes him/herself to reach beyond their capability. “Champions are not the ones who always win races – champions are the ones who get out there and try. And try harder the next time. And even harder the next time. ‘Champion’ is a state of mind. They are devoted. They compete to best themselves as much if not more than they compete to best others. Champions are not just athletes.” ~ Simon Sinek 9) Champions Are Motivated By Their Competitors. Competitors inspire you to do more. You probably won’t train to your highest capacity unless you are training against a competitor. Competition drives us to continuously improve. It gives a Champion a comparison to achieve and hopefully overcome with more training. 10) Champions Seem A Little Arrogant. They hold beliefs that nobody can do it like them. This sounds like a negative trait but it is a necessary quality of Champions. 11) Champions Can Be Selfish. A Champion knows when to take charge of a situation. They may not pass the ball to a teammate and may take the shot themselves. They know when to make a selfish but intelligent call in crucial moments. 12) Champions Anticipate Things To Come. They have a broad view of everything that is going on. They anticipate the moves that will come or may soon come. 13) Champions Are Afraid. Champions have some form of an underlying fear. Perhaps the fear is that they may disappoint the coach, or it may be a fear of losing, or a fear of failure of their opponent. This serves as a driving force that can bring about the desired victory. 14) Champions Know How To Get In The Zone. Champions realize the past is over and the future is theirs to create. They focus on the present moment. Champions are aware of what is going on around them. People who focus on the past tend to worry about things that cannot be changed. Those who focus on the future tend to worry about making mistakes. Trust yourself and your training, focus on the here and now and be in the present while you are training. 15) Champions Love To Compete. A Champion doesn’t just focus on the outcome but they also love the joy of the activity. They enjoy the beauty of the moment. They love to practice and they love the joy of the game. “There’s always the motivation of wanting to win. Everybody has that. But a champion needs, in his attitude, a motivation above and beyond winning.” ~ Pat Riley Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner. Mark has been in the field of helping individuals and couples since 1986. He has a vast amount of experience and he can have a very positive impact on your life and your relationship. If you are looking for individual or marriage counseling, please call his office in Valdosta, Georgia and his staff will help you set up an appointment. South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center 2704 N. Oak St. Blg B-3 Valdosta, Georgia 31602 229-257-0100

“If you continually shun any stress, you become comfortable with fewer and fewer experiences.”~ David Viscott If anxiety isn’t effectively managed; it will eventually take control of your life. I was talking with my friend and colleague, Robert Woodward, who also specializes in the treatment of stress and anxiety and asked him how he identifies anxiety in his clients. Here are his top 5 behaviors that occur to set you up for added anxiety in your life and I will follow with strategies to fix those areas. 5 Red Flags Anxiety Is Damaging The Quality Of Your Life. 1) Sleep Disturbances: Anxiety often leads to difficulty falling and staying asleep. Too much on your mind equals too little quality sleep. 2) Difficulty Having Fun: If friends and loved ones are telling you you’re no fun, odds are you are anxious. Anxiety steals opportunities for spontaneity and tends to make people focus on what can go wrong, not on what fun you are having in the moment. 3) Procrastinating: Anxious people have a hard time getting started on projects and are constantly second guessing themselves once they do get started. 4) Focus: When someone is under a lot of stress, anxiety opens the floodgates to worry about everything. This in turn makes it hard to focus on a single thing. 5) Relationship Issues: Let’s face it, if the above problems are going on, odds are that you are or will start having relationship issues. If your significant other is telling you that you seem distant, you might need to look closely at your behaviors and anxious mindset before they become distant too. (Robert Woodward is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center) Here are 8 Strategies To Direct Yourself Away From Anxiety Driven Thought Processes: 1) Routinely Remind Yourself That You Are Okay. We live in a dangerous world but that doesn’t mean that you must constantly be on the alert. You need to have a situational awareness but a constant sense of hypervigilance probably isn’t necessary. Use self- talk to maintain a calmer demeanor by saying, “I’m okay.” This simple little tip can greatly reduce anxiety if you will give it a fair chance. 2) What Is The Probability That Something Bad Will Happen? Based on your life experience, what is the probability that something bad will actually happen? Be careful not to use absolute statements like “Every time I get close to someone, something bad happens” or, “If something can go wrong, then you know it always happens to me.” So, if the chances are slim that something bad will actually happen, then you may want to use lower probability language like, “Things usually work out for me” and, “I get along with most people.” 3) Some Personalities Are More Prone To Anxiety And Worry. Some people have a more active brain than others. They tend to think, worry and analyze things to death. They worry about making a mistake or hurting someone’s feelings. They may care too much of what others think of them. If you fall into this category, you will have to work harder at redirecting your thought processes. 4) Make More Friends. Friends and acquaintances within the community act as buffers against stress and worry. You need people who you can feel close to and some friends who are more casual. The more you tap into your community, the less pressure or anxiety you will feel. 5) Expose Yourself To Things That Make You Anxious. This may be a tough homework assignment for you. Be courageous. Courage is the ability to do or face something that scares you. If anxiety has made your world smaller because you avoid going out and trying new things; then start going to places you are familiar with. This usually means places with crowds like church or the shopping mall. So instead of pretending these places don’t exist anymore, go to the mall today and church this Sunday. You must push yourself not to feed your fears. You must reclaim your life. If you don’t, your world will shrink. 6) Trivialize Your Anxiety. My younger brother Scott has never been afraid to try new things. When faced with some new experience or a stressful situation, he says something that neutralizes his emotions or turns them into excitement. He says “It ain’t nothing but a thing.” He then smiles and plunges forward, getting things done. His life is fuller than most because he doesn’t let stress and anxiety get the best of him. 7) Remember To Breathe. A former client of mine lost her husband in death and faced a lot of challenges in addition to her strong feelings of grief. She had never lost someone close to her before and her friends who were also sad for the loss turned to her for support instead of providing support. She handled this difficult time with honor and grace. I asked her what helped her hold it together so well. She said her faith and something I had previously taught her. She said I hung onto the advice of “just breathe. I just kept repeating this simple reminder”. A good therapist knows dozens of techniques for taking control of your life and our community is full of them. Tap into these resources today. Anxiety Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. He is the author of How To Be A Great Partner. Mark has been in the field of helping individuals and couples since 1986. He has a vast amount of experience and he can have a very positive impact on your life and your relationship. If you are looking for individual or marriage counseling, please call his office in Valdosta, Georgia and his staff will help you set up an appointment. South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center 2704 N. Oak St. Blg B-3 Valdosta, Georgia 31602 229-257-0100