The solution is simple but changing old belief patterns is not always easy to do. Most of us have been stuck in old belief patterns for quite some time. The problem with negative patterns is that they do not get us what we want out of life.

For example, we often believe the events of our past can pretty much predict our futures. With this being the case, we spend a lot of time worrying about our past and our future. By doing this we miss the opportunity to enjoy today.

So how do we learn to live in the here and now? What we often forget, is that we have a choice. We can choose to experience happiness instead of getting caught up in the chaos of negative thinking. Making the goal of peace of mind and happiness your single most important goal. When you catch yourself falling back into old negative ways, switch your focus back to your goal.

Other factors are also involved. For instance, we spent a lot of time trying to control others; their thoughts, their feelings, and their actions. We can only change how we see the world, other people and ourselves. Once again it boils down to what we choose to do.

We can also learn to see the goodness in ourselves, our relationships and in our work place. Happiness will come easier this way as opposed to finding fault in our world.

A part of having a positive lifestyle is sharing it with others. So you remember how good it feels to do something for someone else without being asked to do it. This is what is called an unconditional gift of love. Look for opportunities to do good deeds for others or give them praise for their abilities. Goodwill can be contagious.

Another factor needed for true happiness is forgiveness. Forgiveness is more than just telling someone, “I forgive you”, it comes from sincere intentions. This will free us from our negative feelings such as guilt, sadness, fear, anger and resentment.

Knowing these principles is one thing, living them is another. It takes time to change old ways of thinking but it is worth the time and effort. If we are willing to work at being consistent in what we think say and do, true happiness will be ours.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

Husbands, if you want your wife to adore you, develop this simple habit.  This minor adjustment will make her feel special and will let her know she is your priority.

Here’s how this works:  Husbands, which family member generally gets to you first when you arrive home each day from work?  Your children, right?  They are so excited to see you.  They practically knock you down with their enthusiasm, this is almost impossible to resist.  Most husbands greet the children first, but for the sake of the children as well as your wife, do not do this.  Always Greet Your Wife First.

Before I tell you why, let me give the husbands a little inside information that I have picked up as a marriage and family therapist.  Your wife typically hides from you when you’re expected to arrive home.  She wants you to be interested enough and care enough to come find her.  If you think about it isn’t she normally in her closet or in the laundry room when you get home?  Do not stop and read the mail.  Do not sit in your recliner.  Go find her.

Instead of stopping to hug the children, say to them, “Ya’ll help me find Momma.

They will gladly help and you rush to where your wife is.  Greet her with enthusiasm.  Think about how your children and your dog greet you.  Show about the same degree of enthusiasm.  Look into her eyes.  Embrace her.  Tell her how glad you are to see her.

This kind of greeting shows her honor.  It automatically conveys a message that she is special to you and she is your priority.  It isn’t hard to do but it’s impact will blow her doors off.

After you have greeted her enthusiastically, greet your children with a similar response.  The reason behind this relates to a matter of developing respect from your children for their mother.  In most homes, the father can tell the children to do something and the children do it immediately.  However, their mother can tell the children to do the same thing and the children give her a hard timed about it.  Greeting your wife first helps squash this behavior.

When you greet your children first, then your wife, you are giving the children the message that they are more important than their Momma.  They start believing that their daddy holds them in greater esteem than he does their Momma.  Thus, they do not have to do what she says.  However, when you greet their Momma first, then they see that you hold her in greater esteem and they will do the same.  They will then be quicker to do what she says.

Someone will greet them first when they reach adulthood but for now, honor their Momma.  Try this out today.  You will feel better about yourself as a husband.  The love and respect that you show towards your wife will come back to you multiplied.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

Were you taught to be strong, to always keep going regardless of the pain?  Do you listen to the well-intended advice to “get over it”?  Pushing your feelings to the side or covering them up is a good short-term solution, or so it falsely appears.  The problem arises when we continue to push these feelings down day after day, week after week and year after year.  Whenever you avoid dealing with your emotions, they eventually will pile up to a point that the feelings will overwhelm you.  Holding onto resentments, grief, guilt, shame and will set you up to have problems with depression, anxiety and physical symptoms such as headaches, high blood pressure, and stomach problems.

No one is immune to their feelings.  By avoiding our feelings, we begin to distort how we see ourselves; how we view relationships and how we see the world we live in.  It’s OK to be strong, but the complete statement needs to be “I can be strong and still have my needs and my feelings.”

It is not a sign of weakness to acknowledge your feelings.  There are both appropriate and inappropriate ways to share your feelings.  When you are having tough times in life, there are often people around you who can provide the comfort and support you need.  You must learn to seek them out.  Do not set yourself up as an island fortress.  Seek out friends, family members, church leaders, and your human resource department at work or local therapists through either the public or private practices.

You have a responsibility to yourself and those you care about to take care of yourself.  This includes your emotional well being.  You are bigger than your feelings regardless as to how intense they may seem.  Your secrets make you sick.  Seek freedom from your pain.  Allow yourself to process your feelings.  You’ll be glad you did.  The truth will set you free.   Remember, we are all in this together.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

Anger is a common emotion but it can be difficult to deal with.  Quite often we have not been taught how to deal with our anger.  We may have been shown how to deal with anger and it is usually shown in appropriate ways.  We may have heard that it is not good to be angry.

We often grow up believing various misconceptions about anger, such as:

v     Nice people do not get angry.

v     We might lose control or go crazy if we share our anger.

v     If someone gets angry with us, we must have done something wrong.

v     People will not love us anymore if we get angry.

v     It’s okay to get angry if we can justify our feelings.

These misconceptions do not work for us in our day-to-day relationships.

So, what do we do with our built up anger?  Well, we tend to do one of two things with it.  Either we hold on to it or we act it out in inappropriate ways.  By holding on to our anger, we eventually struggle with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and /or physical kinds of problems such as headaches or ulcers.  If we explode with our anger, we may say or do things we eventually come to regret.  Neither of these approaches will work for us.

First, we need to be aware of a few ideas about anger.  We have a right to feel angry.  Other people also have a right to feel angry.  But we need to deal with our anger in appropriate ways.  Dealing with our stored anger may take time and effort.  Learning to appropriately express our anger takes patience.

Here are some ideas on how to deal with anger:

1. Allow yourself and others to feel angry.
2. Acknowledge your thoughts associated with your anger.
3. Look for patterns in which anger usually occurs.
4. Identify areas where you need change.
5. Practice talking openly and honestly about anger without acting on it.
6. Take responsibility for your anger. Other people are not in charge of your feelings.
7. Use physical outlets such as playing ball or yard work to release some emotional energy.
8. Write a letter to the person with whom you are angry, but do not mail it.  This helps to deal with anger without anyone ever knowing.

As we begin to deal appropriately with our anger, we need to be easy with ourselves.  This is especially true if we have been holding onto our anger for a long time.  Do not overly focus on anger or look for reasons to become angry.  Remember to be patient and to allow some mistakes, because this is how we learn.

Our anger is okay to express when we need to.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

If you are sacrificing who you are to hold your relationship together or to keep others from disapproving of you, then you are leading a lonely life.  If these people truly care about you, they will want you to achieve success in your life.

I have seen so many individuals give up hobbies, career goals and other areas of interest to gain the approval of their partner and/or their parents.  These individuals create a limitation for themselves.  Because they are not pursuing what is important to them, they end up feeling very empty inside.  This emptiness is a form of loneliness and it leads to a slow death of the human spirit.

When you lead your life according to your God-given potential, you begin to experience a freedom like you would never believe.  Your step becomes swifter, you breathe a little deeper and you stand taller.  You will feel a sense of personal power.  Thoughts will become more solution-oriented in your view toward the challenges of life.

15 Strategies To Help Unleash Your Full Potential

1.  Decide to be the best that you can be.

2.  Learn to see your positive qualities.  Make a list of 20 positive traits that you have.

3.  Stop putting yourself down in front of other people.

4.  Limit the amount of time you spend with negative people.

5.  Give and receive compliments.

6.  Be enthusiastic.

7.  Develop your sense of humor.  Don’t take yourself so seriously.

8.  Be kind to everyone you interact with.

9.  Don’t be easily offended.

10. Attend church and pay attention while there.

11.  Seek outstanding role models.  They can teach you how to     speed up the learning process.

12. Dare to be unpopular.

13. Remind yourself daily that you are striving to be your best.

14. Wake up happy.  Get your day off to a positive   start.

15. Give yourself positive messages such as “I can” and “I will”.

Loneliness can feel crippling at times.  The hopelessness and helplessness of loneliness will dissipate once you seek the truth that is within you.  So ask yourself, what is truly important to me?  What am I getting out of my present lifestyle?  What would I have to give up if I really moved toward my dreams?  What would I gain if I did so?  Remember, you were brought into this world with a purpose.  If you question your purpose, then do yourself a favor by spending some time reviewing these questions.  You can be loved and accepted for who you are.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

What do you want out of life? Have you ever taken the time to give this some specific answers? The question itself can be quite hard to answer. Allow yourself time to answer this question and write specific goals. “I want to make more money” is a vague goal. Write a set amount within a time limit for a specific goal.

After a specific goal is made, set a deadline to it. How much time do you need to achieve this goal? Is this a short term goal or a long term goal? We can have a series of deadlines leading to a specific outcome.

At this point, observe the plans and goals and note areas of possible obstacles. Can these barriers be avoided or minimized? We want to be aware of these obstacles but we do not want to over-focus our attention on them. All of our energy needs to be toward the achievement of our goal.

Our mental outlook is an essential part in goal achievement. We need to train ourselves to see positive outcomes. Visualize personal success in terms of the chosen goals. Write and verbalize the goals as if they have already occurred. It is a good practice to start the day with these positive messages. Our day needs to be filled with these messages and even end it with them. This trains our mind to look for opportunities to meet our goals.

Once a plan of action is decided, we need to act on it. The sooner the better. Develop a burning desire to achieve the goal. Share with others the desired goal and ask them for their support. They may not share in your enthusiasm but then again they might. They might even know of ways to help make the goals more available. If we cannot get their commitment of support, we are at least reinforcing to ourselves our own goals.

Goals can come from any area. They can involve our personal life, family life, social life, work environment, financial status, or spiritual aspects. The list of possibilities is endless. Just remember, if your mind can dream it, you can achieve it.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

Sometimes, however, the role models we need to learn the proper skills for good communication are not available and problems may begin and persist without these skills.  By modeling the basic techniques, we can teach future generations how to develop healthier relationships.

One of the biggest ways to turn persons off is through body language.  Our nonverbal messages disclose much information about ourselves, our feelings and attitudes.  By increasing awareness of our body language, we can convey to others our interests and likings which we in turn want to receive.  We can do this by finding a close distance in which we can talk and interact comfortably and by maintaining eye contact which conveys sincerity, smiling, leaning forward when we speak, uncrossing arms and legs and allowing expressions to show.

Self disclosure is an important part of communication.  It adds excitement and develops intimacy within our relationships because we are communicating information about ourselves.  The risk of self disclosure will lead our relationships to the level of intimacy that we desire.

Some suggestions for this area:

-   Practice sharing factual information about ourselves.  When comfortable with this, move on to the next step.
-   Share your thoughts, feelings and needs but only about the past or future, such as your beliefs, hopes or thoughts on the future.
-   From here share your feelings and needs on a “here and now” basis.  This will involve saying what attracts us to the other person, saying what we like and dislike about their behavior.  This is the most difficult level of disclosure but also the most satisfying.  When we risk sharing our true feelings we can become closer to others and create stronger bonds.

Other things to keep in mind when disclosing include:

-  Preparing ahead of time on what we think, feel and want within our relationship.
-  Being positive.
- Taking responsibility for our position by using “I” messages, such as “I think”, “I want”, “I feel” and not using “You” messages such as “You always” or “You never”.  This puts the other person on the defensive.

Listening is another important part of communication.  It is our ability to listen that makes and keeps relationships going.  When we show others that we are good listeners, they are drawn to us.  By taking the time to listen we learn to understand others.  Listening is a commitment to the understanding of how others see things.  It is also a compliment to others because we are telling them we care.  Listening however does not mean we have to sit still with our mouths shut.  Listening involves active participation.

Helpful suggestions for healthy listening skills include:

-  moving away from distractions.

-   leaning forward.

-   maintaining good eye contact.

-   nodding and paraphrasing.

-    asking questions.

-    committing yourself to understanding the other person’s viewpoint.

The only way to learn these skills is by using them.  It may feel awkward using these techniques at first but as we continue to work at them, they become second nature.  The benefits we will gain from these skills will convince us that it is worth the initial discomfort.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

We tell ourselves that if we could just change our weak points then we could make a difference.  If only we had more money, a college degree, better looks, more experience, etc..then we could let the world know about us.  Maybe there are only a couple of areas which could use some changing.  Regardless, we tell ourselves these things and then we justify reasons why we cannot or do not have them.

If we continue to hide, then we are sure to lose out on all the good things life as to offer.  When we do not take the risk to become more involved we are denying ourselves the opportunity to grow.  This leaves us feeling afraid, immature, and mistrusting.  The longer we continue this pattern of avoidance the smaller our world becomes because we will eventually become comfortable with fewer and fewer situations.

So whether we are aware of it or not, we come across opportunities to grow on a daily basis.  In order to make an impact we have to get started with what we have.  Stop waiting for this, this and this to happen before we begin.  Maybe we are already visible to some degree.  If this is the case then we have to challenge ourselves to become even more visible.  Only the individual knows the secret to what keeps them from letting others know them.  What is it that is keeping you from letting others know you?

By making a visible statement we are telling others that we feel good about who we are and we’re not afraid to let them know us.  This challenge will require courage.  Courage comes from when we are afraid to do something but we do it anyway because we know it is for our own good.  This new way of presenting ourselves will get easier with time.  People will know us as individuals with integrity and they will respect us for it.

Just remember, we grow as individuals when we take risks to become our best selves.  Feelings of great happiness will come from our efforts because we will know that we are taking control of our personal power.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

It is better to be prepared for tough times and not have them, than to have tough times and not be prepared.

Here are five of the essential principles to strengthen your relationship and give you an edge during times of adversity.

1. Be Mindful Not To Worry. If something needs to be fixed, fix it if you can but remember that worry never fixes anything. Worrying is a waste of time and energy. It’s like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere. Worry prevents you from seeing hope and solutions. Besides, most things we worry about never happen.
   
2. Be Patient Towards Your Partner. Patience is an excellent remedy for the tough times you will go through. You love your partner so don’t choose the moments of crisis to come down on them. Don’t let stress sway you into losing perspective. Realize that if you are not careful, adversity can damage your relationship. Stay away from blaming, using criticism to make a point, lecturing, sarcasm and name calling. Everything becomes possible again when love and patience are present.
   
3. Practice Forgiveness…It is amazing how quickly someone will turn on the person they love. Don’t let upset feelings infect your relationship. Resentments close the door on the possibility of a bright future. Love is a continous act of forgiveness. Everybody likes the idea of forgiveness until they have to be the one to forgive. If you want your relationship to be better than most, you must instill this habit of forgiveness.
   
4. Use Your Sense Of Humor. A laughing couple is much stronger than an arguing or withdrawn couple. If you can find humor in the challenge you are facing you can survive it. Laughter dissapates hopelessness. You cannot argue and laugh at the same time. It is impossible. The choice is up to you.
   
5. Vow To Stay Connected. Stand together against adversity. Promise to endure throughout the storms that most likely will come your way at some point or another. Staying connected takes practice. People commonly choose to withdraw from each other at times of trouble. This distance may feel safer but it does long term damage to the relationship. If you truly love your partner then vow “We will get through this, Together!”

You are the only one who is responsible for your character. Do not let other people or circumstances determine your actions. If there is goodness in your relationship, then it is worth fighting for. Give your partner a message of committed reassurance. Let them know, “I’m Here For You.” and “We Will Get Through This.”

Things To Keep In Mind During The Tough Times:

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

Getting Through The Tough Times In Your Relationship

So many couples wait for factors to line up perfectly as in a solar eclipse before they experience the renewal of passion between them.  You can make passion as predictable as a sunrise but you’ve got to get out of your comfort zone.  You have to stretch your thinking into new areas you didn’t even know existed before.  Are you willing to change how you do things?

1. Two critical things will determine the future of your relationship.  If you’re not careful these two things will negatively influence the quality of your relationship.
2. The Information You Take In.  Positive information will attract positive circumstances.  Fill your mind up with stories of happy loving couples who enjoy being together instead of stories of hateful divorces.  Study books and attend seminars that focus on the enrichment of relationships. Everyone can learn more when it comes to relationships.  Commit yourself to learn all you can, so that you can become a great partner.
3. The People You Associate With.  Individuals or couples can either drag you down or inspire you to new heights.  Create distance between you and the negative ones.  If you can’t create distance because they are family or coworkers, at least limit the length of your interactions. I used to say to tell my clients:  “Don’t associate with any negative people!  Period!”  I have done a lot of research on this subject and I have found out you can actually associate with about four or five negative people.  For some of us, that’s just enough room to fit our families in.

Renew your resolve to make your relationship passionate.  Make a conscious decision and then take
Meaningful steps towards this goal.  Remind yourself of this goal each and every day.

1. Here are some strategies to help propel your passion for each other to new heights. Arrange for a babysitter.  Most men consider this to be the woman’s responsibilty but all women love it when the man takes the initiative.  This strategy alone will blow her doors off.  Ask family or friends to watch your children and then return the favor.
2. Run away from home.  Daily routines can douse the flames of passion.  Get away for a night or two.  Develop a friendship with a travel agent and ask them to remind you from time to time of your resolve to make your relationship a passionate one.

If money is an issue then you might want to consider friends or family members who have a vacation home or perhaps you could trade homes with someone for a weekend.

1. Tell your partner why you love him or her, not just that you do.  This could be by writing a love letter or by whispering in their ear while sitting in the movie theatre.  ( By the way guys, women crave love letters from the man she loves.)
2. Plan time to be together.  Don’t just wait for it to happen.  Passion is increased by anticipation.
3. Schedule  a date and let the two of you revel in the possibilities.  This builds up the excitement.
4. Dress up for each other.  This used to be a top priority but once we seal the deal, we tend to neglect the extra shower and the splash of cologne/ perfume.  Make the effort to present your best self.  I also encourage you to workout in order to stay in shape.  Do your best to maintain your health and your youth.

Is your relationship growing in passion?  Don’t lose the fun and excitement that should and could be yours. Start today with a conscious effort to set your passion on fire.

Warmest Regards,
Mark Webb

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

Ernest Holmes said, “Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.”  Have your thoughts undermined a once great relationship?  If so, you can redirect your thoughts and thus redirect the future of your marriage.  Most couples put more effort into the planning of their vacation than they do their marriage.

Remember the days of dating each other?  You couldn’t get enough of each other and gladly gave a lot of attention to your partner.  After a couple gets married they are pulled apart by things like their career and the needs of their children.  A routine develops and if the couple isn’t careful, so does a sense of boredom.

Unfortunately, your spouse tends to get blamed for the boredom.  But don’t be too quick to judge.  Simply because you have been together for a number of years doesn’t mean that you know your spouse today.  People change.  As men get older, they tend to shift focus from their career to their family.  Women tend to go in the direction of career because they have put their career pursuits on hold for the sake of their children.

The goals you had early in the marriage have probably changed.  But your partner may have the assumption that you still want things the way they were in the beginning.  Especially in the ages between 35 and 55, what’s important to you and what matters most are usually being re-evaluated.

Talk with your partner about what is really important to you.  What would make your life more satisfying?  Listen to your spouse.  Encourage them to share their views.  Be open to what they say.  Don’t be too sensitive or defensive.  Don’t be judgmental.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you overreact to what they say, your spouse isn’t going to talk to you.

Try to be accepting and positive of what your spouse has to say even if what you hear surprises you.  If you have a hard time keeping your mouth shut, I suggest you sit on your hands.  Somehow this simple behavior helps you keep quiet so that you just listen.  Remember, one good idea could be life changing to your marriage.

Be curious and eager to know your spouse all over again.  It doesn’t take both of you to do the spring cleaning, even though it helps.  You’d be surprised by what one dedicated spouse can do.  And just like the spring cleaning of your home, your marriage deserves many cleanings.  Keep your marriage fresh and alive.  Tap into your ability to dream again.  Rediscover the beauty of your husband or wife.  Take one step today towards the renewing of your marriage.  Then take another step tomorrow.  And so on and so on..

Here are some additional “cleaning solutions” for your marriage.

1. Try to see your spouse with fresh eyes.
2. Keep your mind focused on your spouse’s positive qualities.
3. Forgiveness is letting go of the past.  Forgiving yourself and your spouse is an attribute of the strong.
4. If you are keeping score of your spouse’s mistakes, you are setting your marriage up to fail.
5. Life is too short to allow boredom to infiltrate your marriage.
6. Good things often come from the difficult times.
7. Strive to genuinely understand your spouse.
8. Break your routines to keep the marriage exciting.
9. Maintain an attitude that encourages openness.
10. Strive to find the magic that is waiting to be discovered in your spouse.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

1. Be quick to listen and slow to speak.
2. Don’t always try to be right.  You cannot be right and be married.
3. Never threaten to leave or divorce.
4. Be quick to say, “I’m sorry”.
5. Don’t expect your spouse to believe all the same principles you do.  Respect their differences and them.  Love them unconditionally.
6. Build your spouse up.  Freely give encouragement and praise.  Remember… it is better to give than to receive.
7. Always side with your spouse in disputes outside of the marriage, even when they are wrong.  Respect the bond of your marriage.
8. Learn to appreciate the things your spouse does and verbalize these often.
9. Try to never go to bed angry with your spouse.
10. Start and end each day by telling your spouse that you love them.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

“I’ve been thinking” he said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I will give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious.  Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.”

Giving is one of the greatest character building exercises on the planet.  When you give of yourself without expectations of return you expand in your ability to love.  A sense of abundance develops.  A win-win situation is created because everybody gains.  This type of thinking goes against what most people believe.  Most people believe that if you give, then you have less.  Instead of a sense of abundance and prosperity, they experience a sense of scarcity.  People who think in these terms tend to struggle with fear, frustration, depression, illness, and anger.

Recall the last time you did something for someone else.  Do you remember that feeling of happiness you experienced?  When you give, you always receive as well.

If you are feeling unhappy and empty, I suggest that you seek out someone or a group in need.  And then look for ways to fill their needs.  By giving, you receive feelings of love and happiness which will replace your sense of emptiness.

The quality of your life can be measured by what you give.

—Givers are happier people—

Anne Frank said, “No one has ever become poor by giving.”  John D. Rockefeller Jr. considered giving a “privilege” and Albert Einstein viewed giving as “every man’s obligation”.

I challenge you to develop an attitude of service.  Look to your spouse and children as a place to start and then branch out to other areas of the community.  Giving can be simple or complex.  Either way, remember it is better to give than to receive.

Here are some ideas to get you going:

• Pick up trash
• Speak kindly to a cashier
• Pay for someone else’s meal behind you at a drive thru.
• Call an old friend to say hello.
• Visit someone who is shut in or recovering from surgery.
• Volunteer to work at schools, churches, community organizations, etc…
• Visit someone in a nursing home.
• Donate books to the library.
• Teach someone to read.
• Donate clothes or household items.
• Support our troops.
• Grow your hair and donate it to Locks of Love, an organization that makes wigs for children/people who lose their hair during cancer treatment.

The possibilities for giving are endless.  That feeling you get when you give is tremendous.  Be a cheerful giver and look for ways to lighten the load for someone else.  Have a Great Day!

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

You become what you think about!  I call this the Formula For Success.  If you want to improve in any way, you have to change your self concept.  You can be no bigger than your self image.  If you have a poor self image, you are not going to get very far.  Most of us have had our growth stunted by the negative influence of other people’s opinions.  I’m here to tell you that someone else’s opinion of you doesn’t have to be your reality.

Inside of you lies the seed of achievement which, if activated, will lead you to levels of fulfillment that you may never have hoped to reach.  You can do things that are beyond your greatest imagination if you will start seeing yourself bigger than you presently are.  See yourself as successful and fulfilled in all areas of your life.  Think in terms of your health, emotional well-being, spirituality and family/community connectedness.  You daydream anyway; so why not harness the energy of what you are already doing?

The Bible says, “As a man thinketh, so shall he become…”  So see yourself as more than capable to handle whatever comes your way.  Know that you are competent and resourceful.  Maintain an image of being unstoppable.  Keep your mind on the things that you want and off the things you don’t want.  This is why worrying is so dangerous.  This is how you build mountains out of molehills.

As a therapist, a large part of what I do is to teach people how to focus their attention.  A positive attitude toward treatment has a tremendous effect on the outcome.  People’s expectations impact how they behave.  If patients expect to get well, they are more likely to be compliant with the medical recommendations presented.  The resulting benefits are a stronger immune system, more energy, enthusiasm, creativity and happiness.

Being optimistic is the single greatest quality you can develop.  It is imperative to decide exactly what you want and to focus on ideal outcomes.  Expect positive results.  Visualize your goals as if they were already attained.  Make your life all that it can be!

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

In the beginning, passionate feelings and romantic gestures seemed to flow without much effort.  As time goes on, we settle into routines and many couples forget to do the things that keep their passion alive.  You have to be proactive.  You must make an effort to stay connected.  You must make up your mind that you will love your spouse.  It is not something that is just going to happen.

If you want to have a passionate relationship then you need to invest your time in your spouse.  I do not believe that we forget how to be passionate towards the one we love.  We just do not make it our priority.  However, in case I need to jog our memory, I suggest you pull out photographs of when you and your spouse first met.  Study your expression.  How did you look at him?  How did you talk to her?  Could you listen to her for hours?  Did you comfort him if he was discouraged?  Remember how you carried yourself.  Remember how you used to drive twenty minutes out of your way to see her for five minutes.  Once you have recaptured these memories then make a commitment to live your today’s with your spouse in this same manner.

Let me share some more strategies on how you can keep the flames of passion alive:

1. Plan a special day together for just the two of you.  Perhaps take a day off work to do so.
2. Be playful.  Laugh together.
3. Write a love letter to your spouse.  Make it a little unpredictable.  Say things you might not ordinarily say.
4. Take walks together.  Consider a walk on a moonlit night.
5. Take turns initiating affection so that it does not always fall under the responsibility of the same partner.
6. Go on a picnic.
7. Go to a romantic restaurant from time to time, not always to a family buffet.
8. Have candlelight dinners at home.
9. Watch romantic movies.
10. Go on a weekend getaway.
11. Hold hands.
12. Hold your spouse in such a way that he/she knows you care.
13. Slow dance to music.
14. Send your wife flowers for no other reason than to let her know you love her.  (If your wife pays the bills, pay for the flowers at the florist yourself.  Do not let the bill come home for her to have to write a check for her own flowers.

You might say, “But Mark, we have children and we are constantly on the go.”  Here are some strategies you can implement:

1. Make sure the children go to bed at a decent hour so you will have time together alone.
2. If you have teenagers, plan Saturday morning dates when they tend to sleep in.
3. A date does not have to mean dinner and a movie.  A date can be anything that gives you an opportunity to concentrate on each other.  From my experience, a standard date night does not work well for couples with children.
4. Create a romantic atmosphere in your home.  This may be as simple as lighting candles or dimming the lights.
5. Always give your spouse a goodbye hug and kiss before leaving in the morning.
6. When you return home, always greet your spouse first, even though the children will run to the door first.
7. Say,  “I love you ” often.
8. Save some of your best self each day for your spouse.  Do not give them the leftovers.
9. Look at old photographs and reminisce together.
10. Respect your spouse even when you disagree.  Never belittle your spouse, whether or not others are around.

If you want good health, you must eat right and exercise.  If you want a marriage that embraces passion, you must take the time to enjoy the company of the person you love.  I believe that passion can be recaptured and grow to unimaginable dimensions.  Decide to be a passionate spouse.

Start today.

Mark Webb is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

The symptoms of a panic attack include but are not limited to:

• Difficulty breathing.
• Feeling as though you are not able to get enough air.
• Racing heartbeat.
• A sense of terror or dread.
• Severe anxiety level; feeling like you are on the verge of losing your mind.
• Dizziness, trembling, choking.
• Chest pain.
• Sweating, hot flashes.
• Tingling sensation.

People who have panic attacks tend to make connections between their anxiety and certain activities.  This leads them to the conclusion that if they avoid the activity then they will not have the panic attack.  Unfortunately this tends to gradually make their world shrink.  They become comfortable with fewer and fewer experiences.  They become embarrassed by their lack of control over the panic attacks and they start to avoid friends and family.  They may do the opposite and become quite needy on friends and family.  This avoidance behavior sets the stage for depression and eventual hopelessness.  But please do not ever forget that Help Is Available!

I have treated thousands of cases of anxiety/panic disorder.

If you have been having panic attacks, here are some recommendations to decrease and hopefully eliminate them:

• Immediately seek a psychiatric evaluation.  You could seek a therapist first but the therapist will most likely send you to a psychiatrist anyway.  Medication is the fastest way to control the panic attacks.  This will decrease the anxiety so that the therapist can get to the root of the problem and teach you a variety of anxiety reducing techniques.
• Find a therapist who is familiar with treating anxiety disorders.  Not all therapists are good at helping these kinds of cases.
• If your psychiatrist prescribes an anti-anxiety medication, please take them as recommended.  Short term usage is usually required.  Keep this medicine with you at all times because panic attacks can be very unpredictable.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

These symptoms most likely won’t just go away and they can only get worse.  If you find yourself identifying with several of these traits then I suggest you see your physician or better yet a psychiatrist as soon as possible.

Here are the more common symptoms of depression:

• Depressed Mood
• Increased Anxiety
• Increased Irritability
• Low Energy Level
• Restlessness
• Lack of Interest in Previously Enjoyed Activities
• Sleep Disturbance
  • Initial Insomnia
  • Frequent awakenings
  • Increased need for sleep
  • Feeling tired upon awakening

• Decreased or Increased Appetite
• Feelings of Worthlessness
• Difficulty Concentrating
• Racing Thoughts
• Intrusive Thoughts
• Feelings of Hopelessness and/or Helplessness
• Active or Passive Thoughts of Hurting Yourself and/or Others
• Crying Spells

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at <a href=”http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com” target=”_blank”>http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com</a>

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com