Clues Relationship May Be In Trouble
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” ~Rita Rudner
1) You No Longer Have Anything In Common. Do you and your partner live separate lives? Do you attend social functions together but don’t interact? Do you spend hours together but rarely talk about anything meaning?
2) Never Compliment Each Other. When is the last time you told your wife she is beautiful? That your husband is handsome? Do you ever acknowledge their hard work or effort for the relationship?
3) Everything Has To Be Your Way Or Theirs. Are you one of these people who has to always be right? Don’t let your pride destroy your relationship.
4) Feelings Of Contempt. Is your relationship plagued with unresolved conflict? Resentment can poison your relationship. If you cannot let go of the past you most likely will not have a good future.
“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.” ~Katherine Hepburn
5) You No Longer Pursue Each Other. Has your interest towards being intimate with your partner waned? When there is little interest in intimacy it typically means a dying of the emotional bond of a couple. Be interested. Be romantic. Make your love life a priority.
6) You Are The Last One To Know What’s Going On. Have you stopped taking the time to tell your partner what is going on with you? Make sure you keep your partner up to date with information about your career, your problems, your fears, your hopes and your accomplishments.
7) How You Look Doesn’t Matter Any More. When you first dated you looked good and smelled good. A drop in hygiene and appearance basically sends a message that you don’t care anymore.
8) Trust has Disappeared. Are you giving your partner reason not to trust you. Trust is fundamental to a healthy relationship. Promote reassurance and closeness not fear and distance.
9) Too Many Things Are Neglected. Have you grown lazy? Are you self- absorbed? Are you glued to the television while your spouse is entranced to the internet? This gap will not get better without a conscious effort. You won’t even know each other after a while.
10) You Keep Having The Same Argument. Is your relationship stuck or dying because you cannot resolve a particular issue? Do you need the help of a professional therapist or of a pastor?
“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” ~Phyllis Diller
11) Your Listening Skills Are Awful. Has your partner been trying to connect with you and you aren’t responding? One of the most important skills needed in a relationship is the ability to listen. Be attentive to what your partner says. Pay attention to the nonverbal communication as well. Be interested. Be engaged in the conversion. Try to understand your partner. Ask questions if you need clarification.
12) Defensive Posture Is The Norm. are your interactions with your partner defensive in nature. Once a couple guards themselves with an emotional shield there will be a breakdown in trust.
13) You Are Holding Resentments. If you don’t let go of your stored anger, you will destroy any hope of having a close connection with your partner. I am not saying you must express your anger to your partner to let it go but I am saying you need to forgive and let go.
“Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.” ~Jean Rostand
14) Reckless Spending. Do either of you disrespect the agreed upon arrangement for your finances? Do you consult each other on major purchases?
15) You Can Do No Right. Is your relationship under attack by constant criticism? Constant criticism can be disheartening to a partner. Don’t break your partner’s spirit. Build them up.
16) Never Praise Each Other In Public. Speak well of your partner. Tell of their accomplishments or tell stories of their thoughtfulness.
“Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”~Author Unknown
17) Distractions Have Become The Solution. Do you look for distractions as a way of dealing with your problems? Is your face buried in a book? Do you leave the television on for background noise? Is there always something else more important like a meeting or a friend’s need?
18) No Physical Affection. When is the last time you kissed your partner? Held their hand? Hugged them? Held them tight? Physical affection builds relationship connection.
Clues That Your Relationship May Be In Trouble… By Mark Webb
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be a Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies” Ezine ($100 Value). Mark Webb is the Relationship Specialist, his relationship advice and marital advice has helped many thru the years, let him guide you to a stronger healthier relationship.
Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com