How would you like to increase the odds in your favor that your marriage will be head and shoulders above the rest? Now a days men and women, especially young people are skeptical about the possibility of having a great marriage. So many couples seem to be unhappy. Is there hope that a wonderful marriage can exist? You can bet on it and here are 10 of the secrets for guaranteeing your success.
(1) Accept and Embrace Your Partner’s Differences.
A common dilemma for couples is to try and change their partner. Sure they may have annoying habits or mannerisms but as soon as you start criticizing them or trying to reform their wrongness, your partner will resist you. They’ll become defensive and then it becomes a battle of wills. It may take years to determine whose will is the strongest and the marriage may not be able to endure this challenge. From my years of experience, the fastest way to change them is to accept and embrace their differences and they’ll give them up much faster.
(2) Staying Connected Is More Important Than Being Right.
Memorize this statement: “You Can’t Be Right and Be Married!”
You need to decide, which it is going to be. The sooner you decide to be married, the happier the marriage will be.
(3) You Get Out Of It What You Put Into It.
If you want the best that marriage can offer, then you need to put your best into it. The amount of energy you give your marriage will determine the degree of passion and the length of the honeymoon.
(4) Regularly Get Away From Your Daily Routine.
This doesn’t have to be a vacation. It can equate to an afternoon in the park. If one of you normally does the grocery shopping, then go together. Look for simple ways to mix up the routine so the relationship doesn’t become dull. Keep your partner on their toes, but in a positive way.
(5) Convey Your Partner’s Importance To Them.
If you get this point right, you will score in a big way. Hardly anyone gets this one right. Make sure that your partner knows with absolute certainty that:
(a) They Are Enough For You. Let your partner know that you only have eyes for them.
(b) That You Are Always There For Them. It’s easy to be there for your partner when they are happy but a great spouse will be there even when their partner is moody or worse.
(6) Fight Fairly.
Treat your spouse with respect even if you are angry or upset. Strive to exemplify honor towards your mate even if they are not doing that in return. Set an example. Don’t use language you wouldn’t want your partner to hear. Don’t pull up too many past grievances. Don’t say things you cannot take back. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.
(7) Make The Marriage The Priority.
Work is important and so are your children but be careful how you set your priorities. Marriage cannot always be the priority but it should find itself at the top of the list most of the time.
(8) Savor Every Day.
Don’t take your spouse for granted. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone so always make the most of every moment with your spouse. How would you treat your spouse today if you knew they were going to die at midnight? I bet your day would be a lot different. How would you look at them? How would you hold them? What would you say? I wonder how your marriage will be if you exercise this discipline for the next 2 to 4 weeks.
(9) Talk About Your Future Together.
Spend time sharing your goals and dreams for you as a couple. This gives reassurance and hope to the marriage which in turn helps strengthen the sense of commitment. Talk about places you would like to visit and things you would like to do together.
(10) Believe In The “Fairy Tale” Aspects Of Love.
Life can be hard but do not let it make you hard. Hold on to the belief of happy endings. Believe in princes and princesses and the innocence of love. Once you stop believing, you become jaded. Once this happens, the magic of love will eventually die. This may sound childish or illogical but this believing will keep your marriage forever young.
Having a great marriage is possible and your efforts will bring you many wonderful rewards. You just have to make the decision to have a great marriage and then strive to be consistent with your efforts.
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies” Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com