How To Get Your Husband To Help More
How To Get Your Husband To Help More Around The House Without Nagging Him To Death
As soon as Steve walked in the door he was met with, “No one in this house helps me with anything!” Janice continued with “I’m tired of being the only one who does anything around here.”
Steve retorted, “That’s crazy! I do all kinds of stuff around here.”
“Are you kidding me? This house is a disaster.” Janice argues. “And on top of this, you never take me out any more. I want romance in my life.”
Steve’s mind is racing as he is trying to figure what he needs to do. He grabs a broom and starts sweeping the kitchen.
“I don’t need you to sweep. I need you to clean out the hall closet.”
A loud door slam can be heard as Janice storms to their bedroom.
He concludes, “It doesn’t matter what I do, she’s going to complain.” So he grabs a beer out of the refrigerator and sits down in front of the television.
Are you tired of playing out this same scenario? Men, there is nothing worse than a tired woman who is facing a house full of chores, especially when she sees you laying on the couch watching television with no intention to help whatsoever.
Ladies, do you realize that you probably have it better than your mama did? Researchers have discovered that men today do four to five times more household chores than their fathers did. Still, when you compare between men and women, men do a lot less.
Points That Husbands Should Consider:
1) Husbands, by involving yourself in the housework, you tell your wife that the housework is important and valuable to keeping the home comfortable. This indirectly tells her, she is also important and valuable.
2) You set a good example for your children.
3) Do the chores with a positive attitude. She would rather not have your help than listen to you grumble the whole time.
4) Make the housework part of your together time. As you do the chores you can also talk about how your days went.
5) Every wife appreciates your help, especially if you do it without her having to ask you.
6) Is this how you would treat a date or your best friend? If you don’t think the chores are your responsibility, then do them out of the love you feel for your wife. This will give her an opportunity to relax with you afterwards which will most likely lay the groundwork for more romantic endeavors.
7) When she divorces you for not helping her; you’ll be doing all of it by yourself. You should really think about this one.
Wives, here are some suggestions to get your husband more involved with the housework.
1) Ask Him. I know you’re thinking, “I shouldn’t have to. It’s his house too!” I agree. If you want to get this train rolling then I suggest you ask him and do so in a loving manner. Explain in a calm manner how your predicament of doing the housework is negatively impacting you.
2) Don’t Give Him A List. Men tend to reject lists unless they made the list themselves. If you stack too many requests on a guy too soon you will be doomed to fail with this transformation.
3) Play Music That He Likes. Music calms the savage beast. Turn it up. You could find a ballgame on the radio as an alternative.
4) Don’t Play Games. Some “experts” suggest that you let the housework go. The premise is that a cleaning strike will show him how valuable you are. However this will backfire. Your husband will step over and walk around the point you are trying to make.
5) Don’t Nag. The more you nag, the less he will do. A contest of wills between the two of you will only produce strife and frustration.
6) Don’t Demand He Do It Now. Standing over him yelling “Do it now!” won’t help. Backing off will give him a greater sense of self control which is more conducive with how men operate.
7) Focus On What He Does, Not On What He Doesn’t Do. How would you like it if your husband pointed out your flaws and never noticed your good qualities? You would grow to resent him. It’s the same with men and housework.
8) Are Your Expectations Too High? Be careful not to over-critique his work. Don’t dismiss him in an angry huff if he doesn’t do the job just the way you want. He will respond from then on with, “It’s never good enough for you so why don’t you do it yourself.”
9) Teach Him. You might be surprised to learn that your husband was never taught how to use a mop or operate the washing machine. Even if he does know how he may not do it the way you would like. Don’t get aggravated, teach him how. Most husbands want to please their wife.
10)Consider Marriage Counseling. If nothing seems to be working, therapy may uncover the root cause of the problem.
11)Increase Your Appreciation. Give him the words of thank you that you probably aren’t getting yourself. Positive reinforcement works well on encouraging repeat performance.
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be a Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies” Ezine ($100 Value). Mark Webb is the Relationship Specialist, his relationship advice and marital advice has helped many thru the years, let him guide you to a stronger healthier relationship.