Posted by Make A Statement of Impact To The One You Love
“Half hearted efforts produce half hearted results”
I am a 4th Degree Black Belt and Certified Instructor of Taekwondo at Performance Martial Arts Academy. While teaching new students I often encounter a hesitation on the novice’s part to give their full effort. They give half hearted kicks and strikes. In order to get the student to achieve better results, I ask them to imagine that someone they care about is being attacked. Immediately, this same reluctant student becomes a vicious tiger. They kick and strike with tremendous determination and impact; all because they changed their focus. They are no longer thinking of their own awkwardness but instead, they are thinking about the well-being of someone they care about. Thus, they make a greater amount of impact.
I want you to apply this concept to your relationship. Not the sidekick or the elbow strike, but rather, a determined statement of loving impact.
- Quality versus Quantity. Most of us lead very busy lives. We never seem to have enough time for the person we love. You may have constraints on your time but there are no constraints on your ability to demonstrate high quality efforts. Simple ways to make statements of high quality impact are:
A) Greet your partner with enthusiasm. We often show more excitement for our clients and our customers than we do for our partner. Your partner reads you loud and clear when you don’t even take your eyes off the television when they get home. Stop what you’re doing. Go to the door or get off your butt and let your partner know you are glad to see them.
B) Give them a real kiss. Not just a little peck on the cheek or top of their head. Kiss them with impact. Lay one on em’.
C) Hold your partner. Not a hug like you give your stinky uncle but with a little muscle behind it. Not a bear hug but convey a sense of passion, warmth, and interest.
D) Speak words of meaningful love. Make strong statements like “I love you so much.” “You make my life complete.” Use a tone of voice that says you are true and sincere in what you’re saying.
The world has become doubtful in the strength and safety of love. People enter marriage with the awareness that divorce is an option. They focus on their own needs instead of the best interest of their partner. Send a message of certainty to the one you love.
Men need to:
1) Make their woman know that she is special to her man. Virtually all women long for this. The more certainity you give her that she is enough for you, the happier she’ll be. Most women have a lifetime of being slighted by the men in her life; often starting with their father. Make her feel special and you can be the hero who sets her free from a lifetime of woundedness.
2) Let your woman know “I’m here for you”. Don’t be the guy who gives her the conditional message of commitment. Most men are only fully committed to their woman as long as she acts the way he wants her to. A stronger statement is to convey that you are there for her no matter what! Even if right or wrong, good or bad, or sweet or evil. Your message needs to be “I’m Here for You.”
Women need to:
Believe In Their Man. Men can live their entire life and never hear the words, “I believe in you!” sincerely spoken to them. Women, your job is to be the one to say, “I Believe in You.” These words can heal a man of his woundedness and inspire him to be a true man of greatness.
- Stay away from people who don’t respect men or women. Their negative views will poison your mind. They will weaken you spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. You will never be able to make a strong statement of loving impact if you associate with the cynical minded.
Half hearted efforts produce half hearted results. This is true for any endeavor. Don’t let this be true for your relationship. Make full hearted statements of impact to the one you love.
Bonus Section for the Guys:
As “The Relationship Specialist”, I’d be amiss if I didn’t remind my fellow brothers:
Things to Remember Before Valentine’s Day
Do something to remind you to plan early, such as writing a note.
Don’t wait until the last minute to prepare.
- Make dinner reservations.
- Preorder flowers.
- Get her a card before they are picked through.
- Arrange a babysitter yourself; don’t make her do it.
She needs to know that she knows that she is special to you, that she is your top priority.
Remember, you want to bring a smile to her face or a tear to her eye.
Do something so out of the ordinary that you surprise even yourself.
Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies” Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com
