On January 1, millions of people will begin the annual promise of New Year’s Resolutions.  People will join fitness centers and start diet programs.  They will give up cigarettes and eat healthier.  They resolve to straighten up their act.  Yet, despite their determination, most people will fail at their resolutions by February 1.  It was the same way last year and the year before.  This year can be different.  Here are some strategies to increase the likelihood that you will stick with your desired goals.

New Year’s Resolutions are very important.  They challenge us to grow as people.  One of the reasons why many people do not have what they want in live is because they neglect to set goals for themselves.  If you catch yourself resisting your resolutions perhaps you need to ask yourself “Why?”    Often it comes down to a fear of the unknown.  If this is the case, focus on the consequences of not changing your habits and the advantages of your new behaviors.  In other words, create a list of the pros and cons.

You must also learn how to reframe physical and mental discomfort.  Whenever you stop certain habits, you will experience a physical and mental reaction.  Someone who is stopping the habit of smoking should reframe nicotine withdrawal as a sign that her body is cleansing itself of the nicotine.  This will go a lot further than if she says, “I’m dying for a cigarette.”

Beat war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors and let every New Year find you a better man.
~~~Benjamin Franklin

You must be willing to make sacrifices.  You may be disappointed if you do not succeed but you are destined towards frustration if you do not even try.  The main reason for setting goals is to challenge you to become the person it takes to achieve them.  Aim for a more ambitious goal.  For example, instead of resolving to have a better relationship, resolve to have a great relationship.

Do not let the fear of failure keep you from trying or trying again.  Your strength lies in your perseverance.  If you are stuck, ask for help.  If you feel tempted to fall back into your old habits, then have an alternative in mind.  For example, when you feel like smoking, go for a walk instead.  Do not allow how you feel at the moment to determine if you will follow through with your resolution.

The Greek philosopher, Pythagoras said, “You should always choose the way that seems the best, however rough it may be.”

Research shows that of the people who successfully achieve their New Year’s Resolutions, only 40 percent of them do so on the first attempt.  The rest made several attempts but their persistence led them to success.  Keep these things in mind as you strive towards your resolutions.

1. Make a strong commitment – “I will do whatever it takes!
2. State your goal aloud every morning.  Say it as if it were already true.  “I make a positive impact on my community.”  “I earn (x amount of dollars) per year.”  “My children tell me I’m a Great Dad/Mom.
3. Trust your instincts.  In order to be happy you must be true to yourself.
4. Do not try to please everyone.
5. Visualize yourself as already achieving your goals.  See yourself enjoying the benefits of your efforts and dedication.
6. Do not reflect too much on your decisions or you may miss out on your opportunity to succeed.
7. Write down your resolutions.  Write them down in a positive language.  “I have unshakeable peace of mind” is better than “I need to stop losing my temper so much at work.”

Life will always present you with obstacles that will interfere with you fulfilling your dreams.  There will never be the perfect time to pursue your resolutions.  When you see someone who is successful, it has come about as the result of a resolution.  Resolve to “Do It Now!”

Your goals are achievable.  Make an unwavering commitment towards your goals.  Believe in Yourself.

Mark Webb is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice at South Georgia Psychiatric and Counseling Center in Valdosta. Mark Webb is also the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™.  Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies”  Ezine ($100 Value).  Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com