19 Dec, 2022
“Thinking of you keeps me awake. Dreaming of you keeps me asleep. Being with you keeps me alive.” ~ Author Unknown 1. Be An Active Listener. Brendan Francis is quoted as saying that “A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.” I believe this goes both ways. It is rare to find a truly active listener. If you want to convey the message that you love your partner, then develop great listening skills. Lean slightly forward to show interest. Uncross your arms to show openness to what they are saying. Maintain a kind and thoughtful eye contact to let them know that you are engaged and trying to understanding. Pretty simple stuff, but very few do these. 2. Show Public Affection. I don’t mean big smooches but I do encourage holding hands and putting your arm around your partner. Be unashamed of your love for your partner. 3. Stand By Them In Support. Never allow anyone to speak badly of your partner. Be their biggest cheerleader and their ride or die advocate. (I know some of you are concerned if you are involved with someone who has narcissistic personality traits. Use common sense if you are involved with an emotional vampire.) 4. Text Them Sweet Messages. It takes seconds to make your partner feel special. I particularly like Bitmojis as opposed to emojis. These make the messages more playful and personal. Go to your app store on your phone if you don’t know what I’m talking about. 5. Put Your Phone Down. This has become a common complaint in my office. I truly appreciate the power of a cellphone but don’t let your cellphone become a wedge between you and your partner. 6. Take Time To Ask Them How They Are Doing Then Really Listen To Them. This sounds simple enough but it is so easy to get caught up in the routine of your day that you forget to really connect with your partner. Be specific versus general. Ask “How is your project going with the ABC account?” instead of always asking, “How was your day?” This shows that you care about what is going on in their life. 7. Make Time For Them. Let your partner know that you care about them and want to spend time with them. Never treat your partner as an afterthought or an obligation. A healthy relationship gives each person room to pursue their interests while also creating time for each other. “A life lived in love will never be dull.” ~ Leo Buscaglia 8. Be There In The Tough Times. Elizabeth Gilbert said “I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than depression and I am braver than loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.” Reread this quote and vow to be this kind of partner. 9. Do Extra And Unexpected Acts Of Kindness. I remember early in my relationship with my wife when we were dating; She came over to my home and put up and fully decorated a Christmas tree for me to share with my kids. Wow! Strive to follow her example and look for ways to make powerful statements of love. 10. Always Do These Basics. Be appreciative enough to say, “Thank you.” Be vulnerable enough to say, “I’m sorry.” And deep enough to say, “I love you.” 11. Practice My 80/20 Rule. As long as your partner is doing right 80% of the time; let 20% slide. Don’t be a nitpicker or a faultfinder. 12. Do Something They Like To Do. Francis David said “We need not think alike to love alike.” Be willing to go outside of your comfort zone for the sake of your partner. Be willing to travel to new places and do new activities. You most likely will enjoy a richer level of connection with your partner as well as develop a larger comfort zone by simply saying “yes” to new things. 13. Do Your Best Not To Be Argumentative. Be careful not to allow room for the storing up of resentment. Be slow to become defensive or hostile. Strive to demonstrate a sense of approachability and a patient willingness to understand. 14. Appreciate Their Quirks. Make a conscious effort to like the things that make them special and unique. “To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed.” ~ Valerie Lombardo